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Trading Day/Transcript

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Return to "Trading Day".

[Scene opens outside Oz Comix]

Fanboy: Egh, cut it out, Yo!
[We now show the interior. Yo is chasing Fanboy through the store, while Fanboy tries to hold on to Chum Chum]
Yo: C'mon, Fanboy! I just wanna be with him a little bit!
Fanboy: How many times do I have to tell you? Chum Chum is not a toy!
Chum Chum: Yeah! Hands off the merchandise!
Yo: [Giggles] I know, But he's just so cute and Chum-Chummy!
[Fanboy looks at heroutragly.]
Yo: I just wanna clip him to my belt and take him wherever I go!
Fanboy: Hey!
[Fanboy tries to get Chum Chum off of Yo's belt. Suddenly, Oz enters]
Oz: Silencio! You can talk during the cartoons, but this is a commercial.

[Scene shifts to the TV. We see a boy and a girl bored]
Girl: [Sigh] All this yo-yo does is go up and down. I'm so bored! Why can't I meet a toy that meets my needs?
Boy: Yeah, this truck barely bounces at all!
[There is a rumble. Suddenly, a robot called Mechatech enters]
Mechatech: I await your command!
Boy and Girl: Mechatech!
Announcer: Yes, it's Mechatech! Mechatech, Mechatech! The toy robot that does whatever you want it to do!
Girl: Mechatech, bake me a cupcake. [Mechatech bakes a cupcake]
Boy: Mechatech, do a slam-dunk! [Mechatech molds the boy into a ball and throws him through a basketball hoop] Nothing but net!
Announcer: Yes, it's Mechatech! Mechatech, Mechatech! He's yours to command, so you can have fun!
Mechatech: I await your command!

[The commercial ends. We shift back to the kids. They are swooning over Mechatech until Oz pushes them back]
Oz: Seriously, amazing.
Fanboy: Oh, a toy, that does anything you want. Anything! My mind is dizzy with possibilities. [While he says this, he wiggles his fingers while mentioning "anything", then the scene zooms to his face for a moment. When he's finished, we pull out to show his Mechatech fantasy]
Mechatech: Your mayonnaise, oh, master.
Fanboy: [Giggles] Thank you, Mechatech. Now...
Mechatech: Drag my butt on the ground like a dog? [He does so]
Fanboy: [Laughing] You read my mind.
[Fantasy ends. He is back in Oz Comix]
Fanboy: Oh, Mechatech, you could really change my life for good.

[At school, Fanboy is looking at a Mechatech poster on his locker door]
Fanboy: Robot of my dreams, why can't you be mine?
Chum Chum: Cause you spent all your money on that picture frame?
Fanboy: You're right, Chum Chum. [Chum Chum closes locker and he leads him to the classroom] I guess the best thing to do is not even think about -- eh! [babbling]
[Everywhere in the classroom, the kids each have their own Mechatech]
Mechatechs (echoing): I await your command! I await your command! I await your command!
Hank: If anyone asks, you're me. [puts a tie on his Mechatech and leaves]
Hank's Mechatech: Initiating nap sequence. [falls asleep]

Yo: Hey, Fanboy, where's your Mechatech? Aw, didn't you get one?
Fanboy: No have money.
Yo: Wah, wah, wah. I'll trade you mine!
Fanboy: [excited] Really? What do you want? Lunch? Teeth? Heart? I'll give you anything, name your price!
[Chum Chum walks by with a trash can on his head]
Chum Chum: Look, I'm a Mechatech! [roboticly] I ate your commando. Chumma chumma chumma chumma -- [hits the wall] Yay!
Fanboy: [annoyed] Yo, you don't actually think that I would trade you Chum Chum?
Yo: [giggling] Come on, I'll take good care of him, just like I do all my Yamaguchi digital pets. [shows him a Yamagutchi on her waist]
Yamagutchi: [meowing] Hungry.
Yo: Shh. Mommy's talking. [pauses it]
Fanboy: I don't know. This is difficult. [Yo shows him her Mechatech] Ooh!
Mechatech: I am ready to drag my butt.
[Fanboy is stunned]

[Later, on the playground...]
Chum Chum: So, why do you have to go into space?
Fanboy: The government sent a monkey into space, and now they need someone to change its diaper.
Chum Chum: Well, why can't I come?
Fanboy: He's been in the same diaper for three weeks. I'm just trying to spare you, buddy. [tickles Chum Chum's tummy]
Chum Chum: [laughing] You always look out for me, buddy.
Fanboy: Uh, yeah. moving on. So, you're gonna spend the day with Yo. Isn't that fun? Yay! [gives him a lunch bag] Now, here are your raisins and your apple slices, and I packed you an extra cape, in case you get cold. [licks his hand and pats the sides of Chum Chum's head] You've gotten so big. [kisses Chum Chum on the forehead and cuddles him]
Yo: Eww. Yuck. [takes Chum Chum with her] Don't you have a space monkey's butt to wipe?
Fanboy: [pulls Yo back for a moment] Remember, we're trading just for the day.
Yo: I know, and then we trade back.
Announcer: Mechatech!

[Later, Fanboy is staring at Mechatech on the picnic table]
Mechatech: I await your command! I await your command!
Fanboy: I know, I just like hearing you say it. [thinking] Okay, what's it gonna be? I don't want to rush. First time is special. Oh, I've got it! Mechatech, I command you to dance!
[Fanboy turns on a radio and Mechatech dances. Each time Fanboy stops the music, Mechatech stops, too]
Fanboy: Mechatech, you are a little superstar! Am I right, Chum Chum? [notices Chum Chum isn't there]Oh, right. Chum Chum. Well, I'm sure he's having fun.

[Cut to Chum Chum acting as a pony and Yo is riding him]
Yo: [giggling] Fly, pony, fly!
Chum Chum: Yay, I'm a pony! Vroom, vroom! Beep, beep!
[Both giggle as they pounce down the slide and walk across the monkey bars upside down. Fanboy can see this through Mechatech's binoculars]
Fanboy: Flying Pony was our game. Well, I guess we still have Demolition Pony. [Hears an explosion, followed by a winny] Oh. At least he's having fun.
Mechatech: I await your command!
Fanboy: Hm? Oh, yeah, you.

[Yo rides Chum Chum up a hill as both giggle]
Yo: [halting] Whoa. What's this?
[Her perspective, we see a giant Yamagutchi dome]
Yo: Someone -- not me -- left a beautiful Yamaguchi here. What luck for us!
Chum Chum: Wow, that is lucky! I wonder what kind of humongous digital pet lives in there.
Yo: I don't know. Why don't you follow that trail of chocolate raisins up that ladder and find out?
Chum Chum: [eats the raisins while going up the ladder] Yay! Up, up, up, up, up, up, up. Hello? Anybody home?
[Yo throws a raisin into the dome, Chum Chum jumps in]
Yo: There is now. [slams the dome's door shut and giggle]

[Back on Fanboy. He is looking at a picture of himself riding Chum Chum]
Fanboy: [sniffles] Oh, Chum Chum.
[Mechatech arrives with a moon rock]
Mechatech: Your moon rock.
Fanboy: Mm, whatever. Just put it with the other stuff.
[Mechatech throws the rock into a pack of junk]
Mechatech: I await your command!
Fanboy: Oh, go suck an egg.
Mechatech: Sucking. [Grabs a seagull and sucks in its rear end]
Fanboy: Aigh!
Mechatech: [muffled] I await your command!
Fanboy: You know what? There's only one thing you can do for me. [pushes the egg into Mechatech's mouth] You can be like Chum Chum, and if you can't do that, I don't want you!
Mechatech: Searching databanks. [after a pause] What is a "Chum Chum"?
Fanboy: What -- is a "Chum Chum"? He's a snow day when you've got a spelling test. He's the marshmallows in your hot chocolate and the sludge that forms on the bottom. He's the smell of ham right after you've take it out of the dryer. He's a pudding fight that steals into a french fry battle and escalates into a fish stick war! [sobbing] Oh, Chum Chu-um, what have I done? I want my Chum Chum back!
Mechatech: I await your command!
Fanboy: [mocking] "I await your command, I await your command". Is that all you can say?
Mechatech: Pull my finger?
Fanboy: Agh! that is it! I'm trading you back right now! [rips off Mechatech's arm, setting off an alarm] Ooh. Uh-oh.

[an alarm from Mechatech goes off]
Mechatech: Mechatech under attack!
[The alarm spreads out through the whole playground]
Mechatech 2: [wrapping Nancy in a jump rope] This is not a drill.
Mechatech: Calling Mechatech defense squad!
Mechatech 3: Mechatech in danger! Mechatech in danger!
[Chuggy falls after sliding. Fanboy is trying to reattach Mechatech's arm]
Mechatech: You are not a Mechatechnician.
[A Mechatech menagerie marches up]
Mechatech 5: Fall in, Mecha-Steven.
Mechatech 6: It's Mecha-Stefan!
Fanboy: Oh, what? Heh. Your little toy buddies are gonna stop me from --
[A laser blasts]
Fanboy: Ahhh!
[The Mechatech menagerie is firing their laser eyes]
Fanboy: Okay -- Oh! Ow! Oh, oh, lasers! Ow! Oh, Oh! Ah! [runs off]

[Back with Yo and Chum Chum...]
Yo: [giggling, presses button 1] Three backflips!
[Chum Chum does as he's told]
Yo: Good Chumaguchi. You get...three boobleberries!
[Yo presses buttons 3 through 1. Three boobleberries appear above Chum Chum and he eats them]
[Fanboy is heard screaming in the distance]
Yo: Fanboy.

[Back at the playground...]
Fanboy: Ah! Oh! Ah! Chum Chum, where are you?
[The Mechatechs continue zapping]
Mechatech 7: Wait up, you guys.

[Back to Yo and Chum Chum]
Yo: Okay, Chum Chum, time to go to bed. [presses button 2]
Chum Chum: But I'm not tir...
[The scene in the dome changes to night. Chum Chum makes a snoring sound as he walks into the doghouse]

[Back to Fanboy, the Mechatechs arw still zapping]
Fanboy: [screaming] Ah! Lasers! Ah!
Yo: [seeing the action from a hill] Ah, just as the prophecy foretold!
Fanboy: [panting] I'm coming, Chum Chum!
[The Mechatechs surround Fanboy]
Mechatech 8: Surrender! You are outnumbered!
Fanboy: Uh-oh.
Mechatech 9: Stop, or my eyes will shoot!
Fanboy: Hm. [menacingly] Time to put away the toys.
[He battle cries and begins to destroy the Mechatechs]
Fanboy: Sorry, some disassembly required.
Mechatech 10: Oh!
Fanboy: Assault and battery included. Ah! Pain sold separately.
Mechatech 11: [shutting down] I await your command.
[Fanboy is seen posing heroically on the Mechatech pile]
Mechatech 12: Initiate self-destruct.
[The Mechatechs explode]

[Fanboy grunts and reaches the hill where the Yamagutchi dome resides]
Fanboy: Yo! Yo!
Yo: Oh, hello, Fanboy. What brings you here?
Fanboy: [sighs] Yo, I want my Chum Chum. It's time to trade back.
Yo: Aw, already? Okay, where's my Mechatech? [sees a spark in Fanboy's hand] What happened to my Mechatech?!
Fanboy: What? [shows the arm of Yo's Mechatech, which explodes] Ew. Got any tape?
Yo: [gasp] You don't have anything to trade back. That means Chum Chum's mine.
Fanboy: No! No! This isn't happening!

[Yo repeatedly jumps on the buttons, Chum Chum wakes up]
Yo: Chum Chum! Good news! We're best friends now, and we're gonna play together forever! Wow!
Chum Chum: [yawns] Wha? How long was I out? Fanboy, what's going on?
[sad music begins to play]
Fanboy: I'm sorry, Chum Chum, I lied to you. I -- traded you to Yo so I could play with her Mechatech, and now you're stuck in there forever.
[sad music distorts]
Chum Chum: [angrily] You're a bad, bad friend! [now upset, sad music restarts] But... [sniffs] I'm gonna miss yoooooou. [sobs]
Fanboy: [sobs] I'm gonna miss you too, buddy. [sniffs] Please, Yo! I can't live without my Chum Chum! There must be some way to work this out!
Yo: Maybe there is...

[Later, Yo is repeatedly pressing the buttons]
Yo: Boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop. [giggling] Boop, boop, boop.
[Fanboy and Chum Chum are inside the dome, acting like Yamagutchis]
Yo: Boop, boop, boop, boop, boop. Boop, boop, boop, boop, boop.
[Fanboy and Chum Chum laugh and each have a boobleberry]
Chum Chum: So, how was that Mechatech?
Fanboy: Eh, he was good. Ooh, boy, she really makes you work for those boobleberries.
[They continue laughing as the scene zooms out. The episode ends]

Previous:
"Dollar Day"
Transcripts Next:
"The Hard Sell"

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