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The Janitor Strikes Back/Transcript

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Return to "The Janitor Strikes Back".
Kyle upset his readmission process is reset s2e8b Oh, dear. This may set my re-admission process back...a bit.


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[Scene opens up showing the school. We see extreme close ups of Chum Chum and Fanboy's mouths chomping and chewing on pink bubble gum]
Fanboy: What do you say, Chum Chum? How about a brief...walk on the moooooon-a?
Chum Chum: Roger that!
[They blow bubbles and put them over their heads to look like space helmets. They make air hissing sounds and give each other a two thumbs up]

[Cut to the classroom. The students walk into class as the bell rings. Clumsy cosmic music plays as F&C bounce in like they're on the moon]
Chum Chum: Hey! [switch to his perspective] The moon is pink!
[From the helmet, we see the students acting crazy and doing things like playing catch, sleeping, studying, dancing or even making weird faces. Kyle is also seen showing Lupe magic tricks. Duke is suspicious and approaches Chum Chum]
Duke: Weirdos!
[Chum Chum smiles uncertanly. Duke pops his helmet, causing him to stick to the wall]
Fanboy: Kehh, uh, watch out for the moon creatures. They appear to be hostile. [Duke sneaks up behind Fanboy and pops his helmet, making him stick to the wall. They go back to their seats, still gum chomping]

[Hank arrives]
Hank: 12 Years to retirement. 12 Years to retirement.
Fanboy: It's Mr. Mufflin! Quick, hide your gum! But be cool.
[They stick their gum to the bottom of their desks. Suddenly, AN ALARM GOES OFF!
Hank: Wait, what's going on? What is that horrible music?

00:58:43 [dramatic music] ♪♪ ♪♪ 00:58:48 - [moaning] [neck cracks] - Hmm. 00:58:53 Huh? 00:58:59 - Someone set off my gum alarm. 00:00:01 - Who are you? 00:00:02 Mr. poopatine? 00:00:06 [laughter] He said "poop." - poop. 00:00:08 - [groans] - [gasping] - It's janitor poopatine. 00:00:14 But you can call me russ. 00:00:18 Since the dawn of my career, I have vowed to destroy gum in every corner .. hills school district. 00:00:30 And now, young gum chewers, you will see what happens when you chew gum in my school. 00:00:38 clink! clink! 00:00:39 beep! 00:00:42

Poopatine: Ah, yes. And now, gum, you will die. [crackling] [hissing] - [frightened laughter] -

Fanboy: You monster. 00:01:04 - [muttering] - Uh, janitor poopatine. 00:01:09 There's no paper towels in the teacher's washroom. 00:01:13 - Oh, I think you'll find the hand air dryer is fully operational. 00:01:27 - Whew. 00:01:27 Luckily, he didn't find the gum inside our desk. 00:01:30 - Yeah, he would have taken our baby. 00:01:34 - It's okay, yum yum. 00:01:36 He's gone now. 00:01:37 sproing! 00:01:39 - And we're gonna take you home, where the mean man can't get you. 00:01:44 - "And in time, " the end. 00:01:51 - Night-night, yum yum. 00:01:52 Artificially sweet dreams. 00:01:56 i. AH. 00:02:09 A new day. 00:02:10 boing! 00:02:11 I can't wait to get up and play with-- aah! 00:02:17 Gabba, gabba, gabba, gabba. 00:02:19 He's gone. 00:02:23 Yum yum is gone. 00:02:24 - Somebody stoled our yum yum. 00:02:26 - Waah, waah, waah, waah, waah, waah, waah, waah, waah, waah splat! 00:02:30 [echoing] YUM YUM! 00:02:33 W-w-w-w-w-w-wha-- [toilet flushes] both: HUH? 00:02:36 - Huh? - hmm? 00:02:43 - [laughs] Yum yum say not go in there for a while. 00:02:49 both: YUM YUM? 00:02:50 ding! 00:02:52 Yum yum! 00:02:53 - [gulping] [both giggling] Yum yum drink all the cow juice. 00:03:03 [belches] splat! 00:03:07 - You're alive! 00:03:09 - And we're gonna be best friends. 00:03:13 [both sighing] [groans] I think he likes us. 00:03:19 [laughter] [squeaking] [laughter] pop! 00:03:49 Kyle, kyle! 00:03:50 This is our new friend yum yum. 00:03:52 We made him out of gum. 00:03:53 - That's the only way you could make a friend. 00:03:56 Zing. 00:03:57 - I bet you wish you had a friend made of gum. 00:04:01 - This morning, I conjured up a scrivener elf to help me with my studies. 00:04:05 He dashed off three book reports in the time it took me to eat my porridge. 00:04:11 - Our friend farts bubbles. 00:04:12 [door slams] - YAY! 00:04:14 Yum yum in school. 00:04:17 - Yum yum! 00:04:18 What are you doing here? 00:04:20 - Yum yum miss best pals, jim jim and friendboy. 00:04:25 [gasps] .. 00:04:28 squish! 00:04:30 [alarm sounds] both: GUM ALARM! 00:04:34 - [groaning] - Watch out, you gooey clod. 00:04:38 Ow. 00:04:38 - Ehh. sorry. 00:04:40 [alarm continues] - [muttering] You have grown strong, rust stain. 00:04:48 [alarm sounds] The gum alarm. 00:04:51 - [beeps and whirs] - Patience, brenda. 00:04:54 We will find the gum chewers. 00:04:56 And when we do, we will crush their rebellion. 00:05:00 - [beeps and whirs] - You're right, brenda. 00:05:03 First, we must refill the pink powdered soap. 00:05:06 [chair beeps] [alarm continues] - Now this is music. 00:05:15 It's got a funky beat. 00:05:16 ♪♪ Mm, mm, mm-hmm, hmm ♪♪ 00:05:18 - we've got to get yum yum out of here before the janitor catches him. 00:05:22 - Look! I'm being abducted. 00:05:25 Scrivener elf. quick. 00:05:26 Hand me my book of spells. 00:05:28 - I'm on break. 00:05:32 - No sign of the janitor. 00:05:35 Let's go. 00:05:37 - ♪♪ Gum, gum, gum, gum, gum, gum ♪♪ 00:05:40 ♪♪ gum-gum ♪♪ 00:05:42 - there's the exit. 00:05:44 Come on. 00:05:47 Hide; it's poopatine. 00:05:49 - Poop. 00:05:52 - Hmm. 00:05:53 [chair beeps] [wheels squeak] [all exhale] - Ahh. 00:06:04 Pain. 00:06:05 Curse you, state champion javelin team. 00:06:08 And shot put team. 00:06:10 [loud clanging] - [gasps] [clanging continues] - [beeps and whirs] - Yes, brenda. I heard it too. 00:06:22 - Whew. 00:06:24 I think we're good. 00:06:25 [machine whirs] HUH? 00:06:26 [shrieks] - Well, well, well. 00:06:29 What a pitiful little band. 00:06:32 - Not so fast, poopatine. 00:06:35 If you want to take yum yum, you'll have to get through me first. 00:06:39 [groans] AAH! 00:06:40 thump! THAT HURTS. 00:06:42 - Now your gum will pay the price for your disobedience. 00:06:48 Aah! 00:06:49 - Um, technically, I never chewed the gum, because it--aah! sticks to my braces. 00:06:56 [both groaning] - No. 00:06:58 - Don't take our friend. 00:07:01 [water running] -

Fully operational, huh? 00:07:05 thwump! 00:07:08 crash! 00:07:10 Aah! 00:07:14 [bubbling] -

Poopatine: Everything that has transpired has done so according to my design. 00:07:20 - Yum yum, I love you. 00:07:28 - [evil laughter] Hmm? 00:07:31 - Aah! 00:07:32 Aah. 00:07:34 - Whaaa? 00:07:37 - Aah! 00:07:38 [hissing and bubbling] - Uh, uh. 00:07:45 - Yay, yum yum. - yeah. 00:07:47 - You're all right. 00:07:49 - Mufflin, give me your hand. 00:03:14 - My hands are still wet, thank you. 00:03:18 - Just wipe them on your-- aaaaah! 00:03:26 Hmm. 00:03:27 sproing! AAH! 00:03:30 What are you waiting for? 00:03:32 Someone, pull me up. 00:03:33 - Sure. 00:03:34 As soon as you say that gum's allowed in school. 00:03:38 -

Poopatine: Never! 00:03:40 snap! 00:03:41 - Oh! 00:03:44 Ooh. 00:03:45 All right. 00:03:46 You can have your precious gum. 00:03:49 - Even gumballs? 00:03:51 - Yes. 00:03:52 - And brain bubbles? - yes. 00:03:55 - And a-b-c gum? 00:03:57 ♪♪ Already been chewed ♪♪ 00:04:00 - yes. 00:04:01 - Triple bubble? - yes! 00:04:02 - Crazy chew? - yes! 00:04:04 - Lazy chew. - koo-koo-ka-chew? 00:04:05 -

Poopatine: All right. all right. 00:04:07 You can have your gum and chew it too. 00:04:10 [together] YAY! 00:04:12 - But no taffy. 00:04:14 - Eh. we can live with that. 00:04:17 - Well, not all taffies. 00:04:19 Just saltwater. 00:04:20 It damages brenda's pipes, you understand. 00:04:24 [wheels squeak] - Hello? 00:04:28 I'm in the chasm here. 00:04:30 Anyone? 00:04:31 It's the big one in the middle of the floor. 00:04:34 Can't miss it.

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