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The Incredible Chulk/Transcript

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Return to "The Incredible Chulk".

[Scene opens up at the Fanlair, Chum Chum is heard sighing. Cut to Chum Chum, who is staring in bordom. He sighs again]
Fanboy: Chum Chum, what's the matter? You barely touched your ham and cheese. [sprays some cheese onto his ham and begins to devour it whole]
Chum Chum: [sadly] Yeah, I guess I just feel a little...i don't know, off.
Fanboy: Feelin' a little down in the grumpy dumps? [squeezes Chum Chum's face] I know just how to give you a smile! [runs offscreen] Woo-hoo!
[Chum Chum lies forward, we hear loads of construction noises]

[Cut to Fanboy, he is on a unicycle juggling apples. He is wearing a clown nose and Chimp Chomp hat]
Fanboy: Come on! I dare you not to smile! I'm even makin' me laugh!
[He laughs and blows his tongue like a party blower, flips and lies on his stomach and laughs again. Suddenly, his body rides the unicyle out of frame]
Fanboy: Oh no! [crashes] Ow! Ah!
[Close up of Fanboy, lying forward]
Fanboy: [coughs] Oh, man, I give up.
Chum Chum: [laughing] You...got a... [keeps laughing]
Fanboy: [pause] Huh?
[Pan over to the Chimp Chomp hat stuck on Fanboy's butt]
Chum Chum: [laughing] ...funny... [continues laughing]
Fanboy: Oh, it's making you laugh, eh?
[Close up of a laughing Chum Chum, he bangs the ground like a baby while lying on his back]
Fanboy: Oh! Oh! Oh! How about this? [close up of his butt] Shake your monkey booty down
[Chum Chum continues to laugh and bang the floor]
Fanboy: Do the Monkey Dance! Do the Monkey Dance! Do the Monkey Dance! Hoo-hoo! Do the Monkey Dance! Ah, I crack myself up! [standing up] Whoa, I heard of "laugh until you're blue in the face", but not orange.

[Cut to Chum Chum, he is still laughing and banging the floor, but then he stops and sits up. His face is orange as his shirt and his hair turned a bright maroon]
Chum Chum: Huh? [looks in a mirror] Oh, my gosh! [jumps on Fanboy] That's why I felt so weird this morning. It's finally happening!!
Fanboy: What's happening?
[Chum Chum starts grunting as his head begins to repeatedly expand. Close up of his left arm, it grows to a big size. The same occurs with his right foot, torso, and right eye]
Chum Chum: Oh, boy...
Fanboy: Uh...Chum Chum? [A huge shadow looms over him] Is everything okay?
[Close up of Chum Chum, he inhales and exhales evilly]
Fanboy: Uh...don't hurt me!
[Close up of Chum Chum, he stops, a needle scratch is heard]
Chum Chum: Now, why would I do that, silly?
[Zoom out to reveal Chum Chum the size of a giant, his skin all orange and his shirt and pants are ripped]
Fanboy: [whimpers] 'Cause you're a huge, scary, orange monster?
Chum Chum: Not just any orange monster! Fanboy, I'm a Chulk!
["Chulk" echos. Chum Chum begins to jump for joy, causing the ground to rumble and everything to bounce all over the place]
Fanboy: Whoa! Whoa! Whoaaaaa!
Chum Chum: [laughing] I'm a Chulk! I'm a Chulk!
Fanboy: Whaaaat's a Chuuullllk?!?
[Everything stops bouncing, Chum Chum stomps over to the shelf and picks up a frame]
Chum Chum: I never told you, but I come from a family of Chulks.
[He runs over to the couch and sits, causing Fanboy to fly, screaming. He lands]
Chum Chum: See? [close up of the frame] That's my Great Grandchulk, and that's my Chulk cousin, and that's my crazy Chunkle Joe.
Fanboy: That is the biggest who I am sure that I've ever seen.
Chum Chum: They're all back in our home land, Chulkistan. [stands up and stomps away]
Fanboy: I don't believe this. My best friend has just mutated into a giant, orange monster?
Chum Chum: Eeeeeyup!
Fanboy: [hugs him] Dreams do come true!

[Scene shifts to the school, Hank is humming whilst writing on the chalkboard. The students are undeniably bored]
Duke: This class is boring, man.
Michael: We sure could use some fun.
[There is a tone, close up of the loudspeaker]
Fanboy: [over speaker] Did somebody say "fun"?
[The ground begins to rumble. Close up of the wall, it breaks down to reveal Chum Chum]
Chum Chum: Oh, yeah.
Fanboy: Come on!
[The students cheer and run out of frame. Hank laughs as well and runs off with them]

[Cut to Yo and Michael bouncing on Chum Chum's tummy]
Fanboy: Step right up, try the Chulk Belly Bounce! Hit the belly button for extra bounce!
[Cheech skateboards through Chum Chum's ear, then rides out his mouth on the tongue]
[Cut to Chum Chum bouncing down the street with Fanboy in tow]
Chulk! He's a supervillain, Chulk! He's a supervillain, Chulk! Chulk! Chulk! Chulk!
[Cut to Fanboy putting on a helmet]
Fanboy: Uh, Eagle 1 to Eagle 2 ready for take off.
Chum Chum: Copy! [takes off the roof of the Fanlair and tosses it like a Frisbee]
He's the biggest guy around, he's the tallest guy in town, he's Chulk!
[Cut to Chum Chum using cars as roller skates]
Fanboy: I never knew skating could be this fun!
Chum Chum: I knooooow!

[Chum Chum swings on the movie theater and hops in front of the sun]
Fanboy: That was AWESOME!
[Chum Chum lands on the street and poses]
Fanboy: Man, I had a great time chulking out with you today. Thanks, Chulk Chulk.
Chum Chum: You're welchulk!
Fanboy: Nothing can ruin an amazing day like today. [hears Boog laughing] Except that bop-zilla, Boog!
[Cut to the Frosty Mart, the door opens to reveal Boog bopping Hank]
Hank: Ooh!
[The door closes, then reopens]
Hank: [gets bopped again] Ah!
[The door closes, back on Chum Chum]
Fanboy: Man, I wish someone could stand up to him. [pause] Or over him...Chulk! [jumps into Chum Chum's hand] Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
Chum Chum: Oh, yeah.
Fanboy: Oh, yeah?
Chum Chum: Oh, yeah?
Fanboy: Oh, yeah!
Chum Chum: Oh, yeah?!
Fanboy: Yeah!
Chum Chum: Yeah!
Fanboy: Yeah!
Chum Chum: Yeah!
Fanboy: Yeah!
Chum Chum: Yeeeeaaaaah! [pause] What were we talkin' about? Oh, yeah.
Fanboy: Oh, yeah!
Chum Chum: High five!
Fanboy: Yeah!
[Fanboy jumps up to slap Chum Chum's hand, but Chum Chum winds up slapping him away instead, causing him to crash]
Fanboy: Ow.
Chum Chum: Ooh...sorry.

[Cut to Hank being bopped]
Hank: Gah!
Boog: Bop!
Hank: Ooh!
Boog: Bop!
Hank: Ow! Alright! Next time, I promise I'll bow, your highness! [Boog bops him one last time] Oh! Ah.
Boog: [laughing]
Fanboy: Hello, Boowoowoowoowoog. [tugs on Boog's hat] You're looking dumb today.
Boog: Watch the hair!
Fanboy: The drool on your chin really brings out your eyes. [flicks some drool onto Boog's eyeballs]
Boog: [rubs eyes] Thank you very mu -- wait a minute!
Hank: Tag, you're it! [tags Fanboy and leaves]
Boog: Hey! I'm the only hilarious insult comedian around here! [pause] Dumbo...head! [laughs] I just improved that. Right off the cuff.
Fanboy: Ah! [slaps Boog and messes with him] Funny, funny, stuff! Now, I have a joke for you. [pulls Boog's nose] Why did the bully get bopped through the wall?
Boog: Huh?
Fanboy: Give up? Because my Chulk bopped him! Ha ha! Okay, Chulk! [nothing happens] Uh...Chulk? That's your cue! [still, nothing happens. Boog pounds his fist] And...go, Chulk!
[Cut to Chum Chum, chattering while holding a sunglasses rack. He shrinks back to his normal size]
Chum Chum: If you're looking for Chulk, he...left? [tiptoes out of the scene]
Fanboy: Oh, boy, that's not good. [turns toward Boog with eyes closed] Heh heh. You know, I think some things we said back there that we -- [opens eyes and looks up in shock]
[Boog slams his fist on the screen, scene changes to say "BOP"]
Boog: Bop! Bopalicious, baby!
[Fanboy flies out of the Frosty Mart and hits the ground so hard that his right eye pops out, hits the screen, and bounces back to its rightful place]
Boog: Bop!
[Chum chum flies out of the Frosty Mart and hits Fanboy]
Fanboy: Uh, that did not quite go as planned.

[Scene shifts to the Fanlair]
Chum Chum: I'm really sorry, I got scared and shrunk!
Fanboy: Don't you understand? [pours some milk] We finally have the opportunity to defend ourselves against Boog! [drinks milk and winces] And it's only gonna happen if you're ANGRY while you're a Chulk! RAAAAW! You see what I mean?
Chum Chum: Yeah, it's just that...I don't know how to chulk out again.
Fanboy: Huh. If making you scared made you small, then getting you angry should make you big! [looks over at Chum Chum with a mischievous smile]

[Chum Chum goes over to the fridge humming, picks out a plate of fish sticks and sits down to eat]
Fanboy: [pops up in front of Chum Chum] Uh, hey, Chum. What'cha eatin' there?
Chum Chum: Uh, some fish sticks for lunch.
Fanboy: Ooh, fish sticks! Can I have one? [eats one out of Chum Chum's hand] Mmm, yum. I think I'll also have [taps the fish sticks with his tongue] this one, or this one, or this one, or this one!
Chum Chum: Hey! Quit it!
Fanboy: Why? Is it making you angry?
Chum Chum: No, it's just that you're allergic to fish sticks.
[Hives start to appear all over Fanboy's face]
Fanboy: Oh, I'm allergic to -- hmm? [screams, coughs and grunts, falls over]
Chum Chum: Fanboy, are you okay?
Fanboy: [sighs standing up, his hives fade away] Okay, here's what I like to call "instant detention". Alright, you start!
Chum Chum: What do you mean, "start"?
Fanboy: [mimicing] What do you mean, "start"?
Chum Chum: Why are you saying --
Fanboy: Why are you saying?
Chum Chum: Okay, you're just repeating --
Fanboy: Okay, you're just repeating.
Chum Chum: But I just said that --
Fanboy: But I just said that.
Chum Chum: Fanboy --
Fanboy: Fan -- BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH...
Chum Chum: BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH LA LA LA LA LA! BLAH, LA BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH! [pause] Ah?
Fanboy: That...is...IT! FORGET IT! This is hopeless!
Chum Chum: No! Fanboy, wait!
Fanboy: If you can't learn not to control your temper, then I'm not gonna waste my time!
Chum Chum: Uh -- I can get angry! I can get angry! Watch!!! [grunting]
Fanboy: I'm going for a freeze. [exits]
Chum Chum: [continues grunting]

[Scene shifts to the Frosty Mart]
Chum Chum: Wait up, Fanboy! Wait up!
[Shifts inside]
Fanboy: Maybe you should learn to take bigger steps! [bangs into Boog] Ah!
Boog: Well, look who it is. Flamboy and his friend Dumb Dumb. [laughs] You two dweebs come to get bopped again?
Fanboy: We're not together, actually.
Chum Chum: Oh, come on, Fanboy. Don't be angry.
Fanboy: Well, at least -- one of us -- can be!
Boog: [laughs] You're like your old married couple over here! [keeps laughing]
Lenny: How many times do I have to tell you to restock the rolling pins?! [tosses a rolling pin out of frame]
Boog: Ah, quit your naggin'! I'll get to it when I get to it!
Lenny: [sarcastically] Oh, listen to the big man.
Boog: Do you mind?!? I'm boppin' here! Can a man bop in peace?!?
Lenny: Hmmph! [walks away]

Boog: Geeze, I'm sorry you had to see that. [warms up arms] Eh, if you don't mind, I thought I'd knock you into the produce isle. I'm trying to bop healthier. [prepares to bop]
Fanboy: [with disdain] Appreciate it.
[Bog bops him, scene changes to say "BOP". Fanboy hits a shelf in the produce isle]
Boog: Ha! I split an apple! I'm like William Tell over here!
Chum Chum: Hey! Don't hurt my friend!
Boog: Oh, yeah? What are you gonna do about it, huh? [laughs]
Fanboy: [offscreen] Well, answer the man. What are you going to do about it?
[Fanboy releases himself from the shelf, his back is bent and his arms are raised up behind his head. He has bananas in his ears and is holding a pineapple]
Fanboy: Hmm?
[Boog and Chum Chum start laughing]
Fanboy: Oh, you're gonna laugh about it, why am I not surprised?! That is just so you.
Chum Chum: I-it's yo-o-o-ou, yo-o-ou're hi-ilar-ri-ious... [keeps laughing]
Fanboy: Me? [notices the fruit] Wha...? Oh, that does look funny.
Chum Chum: It is! It's hysterical! [flops down on the floor and bangs, laughing]
[Chum Chum suddenly turns orange and begins growing back to Chulk size. The same sequence of close ups from before is repeated. Soon, Chum Chum is a Chulk again and is banging the floor hard whilst laughing still]
Boog: Hey! What's going on here? [starts moving due to the banging] I-I didn't ask to move in this particular direction! [His perspective of Chum Chum, his fist is slamming before him] No, wait! I can't get bopped! I do the bopping around here!
[Close up of Chum Chum's fist, it swings downward. Scene changes to say "BOP". Boog is repeatedly being bopped]
Boog: I'm being bopped by the jolly orange giant!
Fanboy: That's it! You finally chulked, and you're bopping Boog!
Chum Chum: I-I'm sorr-r-y-y, I can't help i-it, just too funny! [keeps laughing]
Fanboy: Funny, huh? Well, get a load of this! [flaps tongue and dances]
[Boog continues to get bopped, Chum Chum stops laughing]
Chum Chum: Boy, bopping is really hard. [lifts fist]
Boog: [all beat up] Oh...

Fanboy: Oh, buddy, I'm sorry I got mad at ya. I was just trying to help you get in touch with your inner Chulk.
Chum Chum: Fanboy, you may not be able to make me angry, but you can always make me laugh.
Fanboy: You hear that, Boog? You'd better not mess with us, because a bop is just [taps Boog's nose] a laugh attack away.
Boog: Yeah, yeah, just tell Lenny to clock out for me. Eh...in four hours!
Chum Chum: Let's go home, Fanboy. [puts Fanboy on his head and starts to leave]
Fanboy: You know, Chulk, the great philosophers had it right. Laughter truly is the best weapon. [ducks] Watch the door.
Chum Chum: [jumps high] Yaaaaaay!
Fanboy: Woo-hoo!
Chum Chum: Yamma, nibba, nip! Ha ha ha!
[Iris out]

Previous:
"Lord of the Rings"
Transcripts Next:
"Norse Code"

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