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The Frosty Bus/Transcript

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Return to "The Frosty Bus".

[Scene opens up viewing the school playground. The kids are playing and laughing. Lupe and Yo are on the slide. Nancy and Michael are on the monkey bars. Chuggy is on the jungle gym. Cheech is seen wandering to the monkey bars. Kyle is carrying his lunch. Pan over to see Fanboy and Chum Chum at a picnic table]

Chum Chum: Check this one out.
Fanboy: Alright, Chum Chum! Let her rip!
[Close up of Chum Chum. He has his hands on his mouth, then lets go, letting out a loud, rude burp]
Fanboy: Ho, ho! Good one, Chum Chum!
Chum Chum: Yep, nothing sings like bologna and ginger ale. [drinks his ginger ale bottle]
Fanboy: Now, let me accompany you on egg salad and dil pickle.
[Fanboy starts to eat, but music is heard in the distance. He puts his hand on his mouth]
Chum Chum: Wow, that was more melodic than usual.
Fanboy: Uhh, that wasn't me. [The music plays again] But that tune, I know it...it's...it's... [Suddenly, he gets excited] IT'S THE FR-OSTY BUS!!!
Chum Chum: Frosty Bus!

[The Frosty Bus comes down on an idolized rainbow]
(Song: The Frosty Bus Song)
Fanboy/Chum Chum: [singing offscreen] The Frosty Bus, The Frosty Bus
Means Frosty Freeze for all of us
So frosty, so freezy
[The kids stop what they're doing and see the bus]
Kids: THE FROSTY BUS?!? HOORAY!
[The kids head for the bus]
Fanboy/Chum Chum: Pulls right up and fills your cup
The Frosty Bus!
[The bus pulls up and the kids line up waving their dollars and shouting. Hank even does a little robot dance]
Hank: Frosty Freezy Freeze
I want a Frosty Freezy Freeze
I really want one, want one, want one, want one

[Lenny is at the window. He takes a dollar from Lupe's hand and listens to the kids shouting]
[Close-up of the Blue-tonium spout. Kyle's hand comes into view and fills his cup]
Fanboy: [off camera] Oh, he got blue!
[Close-up of the Berry Pink spout. Yo's hand comes into view and fills her cup]
Chum Chum: [off camera] Oh, you got pink!
[Back on F&C. Chum Chum is trying to get to the bus while everyone else leaves, Frosty Freezy Freezes in hand]
Chum Chum: Frosty Bus, Frosty Bus, Frosty Bus, Frosty Bus!
Fanboy: [Tugging on Chum Chum's cape] No no, not yet, Chum Chum. It's too soon. We're not nearly thirsty enough.
Chum Chum: I'm really thirsty.
Fanboy: Chum Chum, we are about to drink our favorite artifically favored slush on the side of a truck. Now, call me a dreamer. But I would like that moment to mean something.
Chum Chum: You're right.
Fanboy: Come, Chum Chum. Let's work! Up! Our thirst!

[Montage starts of the boys playing. First, we see them on the seesaw. Then, they try the swings. They finally try the slide. After all that, they are lying tongue tied on the grass. Fanboy then walks over to a hydrant and licks it. The montage ends]
Fanboy: [raspy voice] Perfect. [holding his tongue] Dry as sandpaper. How bout you, Chum Chum?
[Chum Chum sticks out his tongue, revealing a small desert on it]

[Later, F&C are at the Frosty Bus]
Fanboy: Hello, Leonard! Two Fr-osty Fr-eezy Freezes, please.
Lenny: Pink or blue?
Fanboy: Uh, that is a toughy. Pink or blue? Pink or blue? Pink or blue? Pink or blue? Pink or blue? There's pink, and there's blue, p-p-p-p-pink, b-b-b-b-blue. Pink...oh! Blue...pink, blue, pink, blue, pink, blue, pink, blue, pink, blue, pink, blue, pink, blue, pink, blue, pink, blue!
Lenny: Urg! Hurry up!
Fanboy: That's as fast as I can point! [Chum Chum whispers to him] Okay. For a thousand reasons I won't bore you with, we will have...blue.
Chum Chum: Pink!
Fanboy: That's what I said, pink.

[Fanboy gives out his dollar, but it's Boog who takes it, not Lenny]
Boog: Snatch!
Fanboy: Oh, hey, Boog. Where'd Lenny go?
Boog: His shift's over.
[Lenny is hopping madly down the road]
Lenny: "Pink, blue, pink, blue." Make a decision! [Shrieks]
Fanboy: Well, Boog, I must say, I'm surprised to see you here, due to your blind hatritive working.
Boog: True. Driving the Frosty Bus is work. And I do hate it. But I guess it's all worth it. When I see the look on you kids's faces.
[F&C look at him that way]
Boog: [wipes a tear from his eye and sniffs] Alright! Let's makes them smiles!
[He gives them each a cup and they clink them]

Boog: Okay, I'll just turn it on.
[F&C put their cups under the spouts]
Fanboy: You know, I was really touched by Boog's words.
Chum Chum: Yeah. Maybe he's turned over ano --
[Before he could finish, he and Fanboy get squirted in the face with Frosty Freezy Freeze]
Fanboy: You kinda missed our cups there, Boog.
Boog: Oopsie. Did I? Must be a little rusty. Let me try that again! Hold your cups up high.
[They do so. Boog presses a remote, but the freeze squirts their underwear, not the cups]
Fanboy and Chum Chum: Hmm?
Boog: [off camera] Try holding em low!
[They do so, but the freeze squirts their faces]
Boog: Try somewhere in the middle! [presses remote]
[The freeze squirts right through F&C's noses]
Boog: [off camera] Any better?
Fanboy: [nasal] No, not better.
Boog: [presses remote] Let's try short controlled bursts.
[The freeze squirts under F&C's feet, over their heads, in a loop around Fanboy, in a zigzag past him, a loop around them both, a curl over and under them, in a wave and zigzag, and right at them]
Boog: But like this, but like that. But like this, but like that. But like this, like this, like this, like that, uh - I feel pretty good about those last couple.
[F&C are twisted into a pretzel]
Fanboy: Chum Chum, are you starting to get the feeling that Boog doesn't wanna give us Frosty Freezy Freeze?
Chum Chum: Actually, I'm losing off-feeling, but, yeah.
Boog: [laughing] You guys are never getting Frosty Freezy Freeze from this bus! [laughs] I tricked ya!
Fanboy: But...you said you liked making smiles.
Boog: I do! Just look at this smile. [Briefly, we see a close up of his smile] Ain't it beautiful? [laughs] Chomp on it! [drives away]

Fanboy/Chum Chum: [coughing]
Chum Chum: You know what's funny? Getting tied into a pretzel makes me just as thirsty as eating one.
Fanboy: We'll just see who keeps who from drinking what from what.
Chum Chum: What?
Fanboy: Who? Oh, I was just saying, Boog can't beat us, we're faster, stronger, and we're gonna drink from that bus! Oh, cramp, cramp, cramp! Okay, I gotta walk this off.
[He drags himself and Chum Chum down the sidewalk]

[At the Frosty Mart, Boog drives the bus into the parking lot and gets off]
Boog: Time to squeeze in a quick game of Chimp Chomp.
[He walks into the mart while a seagull carrying a snack bag runs out. F&C then peek out from the trash cans]
Fanboy: There's the bus! Come on!
[They get out of the trash cans and tiptoe over to the bus, giggling. They stick their mouthes on the spouts and proceed to drink the freeze. Fanboy presses the remote, and he and Chum Chum start to inflate with hot air instead of freeze]
Boog: How do you like that hot air, boys? I switched out the tanks! [laughs]
[They suddenly pop off the spouts and fly all over the place, finally hitting the ground, wimpy]
Fanboy: Oh, why, Boog? Why you gotta make it so hard?
Boog: Cause I like messing with you dweebs! And I love balloons. [Flies away on a bouquet of helium balloons while laughing]

[Later, Boog is back on the bus, singing and driving]
(Song: Boog's Song (Bop Boppin')
Boog: Well, you know I got to stop you
And then I'm gonna bop it
That's why I am so popular
Cause I'm the king of bopping you all
Bop boppin', no, I can't stop, yo bop boppin'
Your eyes will be poppin' oh yeah
Bob boppin', ooh I got to bop a lot
[a siren is heard]
Boog: Oh man, the fuzz!
[Chum Chum wearing a police helmet is flying down the road, imitating a siren via microphone. Fanboy is riding him like a moterbike. He is wearing a police hat and shiny glasses. They arrive at the bus as Boog stops. Fanboy gets off Chum Chum as he imitates the car door. Fanboy then walks up to Boog as Chum Chum imitates his footsteps. Fanboy tips his glasses, then stands by the bus door and taps on the windscreen, which Boog nervously winds down]
Fanboy: [in a Texan accent] License and registration, sir.
Boog What did I do, officer? Was it that lady's garden gnomes I drove through? 'Cause I swear those little twerps started it!
Fanboy: I'll ask the question, sir. [He tries to click open his pen, but Chum Chum imitates other noises. He comes next to Fanboy, and after a while of noises, he salutes and leaves] You one of them yankee fellers running Fr-osty Fr-eezy Fr-eeze down into these parts? Hmm?
Boog: Huh? I was just--
Fanboy: Don't you back-sass me! Well I guess I'm gonna have to confiscate all the Frosty Freezy Freeze you got on board.
Boog: Whatever you say, officer! I don't want no trouble!
[Fanboy smiles, then a static noise is heard]
Chum Chum: [radio voice] 1-Adam-12, 1-Adam-12, we have a 10-3512 in progress. All units must proceed. Over. [static noise]
Fanboy: Looks like today's your lucky day. [He goes over to Chum Chum and they ride away while Chum Chum imitates the siren again]
Boog: Whew. [Looks at a gnome next to him and laughs]

[Later...]
Agent Johnson: That's some top-notch police work, gentlemen. [takes a seagull from Chum Chum. This is the seagull from earlier] This seagull's been swiping potato chips all over town.
Fanboy: [He and Chum Chum salute] Just doing our job, sir! [To Chum Chum] Another day, another dollar, eh, Chum?
Chum Chum: You said it. Hey, weren't we doing something else before all this? [He and Fanboy stare at the screen in surprise]
[Boog drives the bus up to them and squirts the freeze on their heads, then drives away again]
Boog: I'm still smiling! Chomp on it!
Fanboy/Chum Chum: [dejected] Oh.

[Back at the Frosty Mart...]
Chum Chum: How can he keep something important as the Frosty Bus away from us? Doesn't he know what it's like having something important in his life?
Fanboy: Oh, let's face it, Chum Chum. Boog won. And now, we have to get our Frosty Freezy Freeze from this - stupid, dummy, smelly machine.
[Depressingly, the Frosty Freezy Freeze machine sheds a tear]
Fanboy: Wonder how he'd feel if he was kept from something he really loved!
[Behind them, Chimp Chomp beeps a tune. F&C look over to see three different pictures of Boog and Chimp Chomp on the screen. The first has Boog playing Chimp Chomp and waving. The second has Boog playing with a ball in the water with Chimp Chomp at the beach. The third has Boog with his arm around Chimp Chomp in the Tunnel of Love at the carnival.]
Fanboy: [evily] Oh, you're going down, Boog. Dooooown. [to Chum Chum] Now, we're going to need a willing accomplice. [He and Chum Chum stare at Lenny, who's snoring]

[Boog walks over to the bus and sees an envelope on one of the windshield wipers]
Boog: A ticket?! [takes the envelope] I thought I put gum in that meter. [opens it, out falls one of Chimp Chomp's joysticks] What's this? [Gasp] AAAAHHHHHH! [He takes the voice box microphone out of the bus] Lenny! Come in, Lenny!
Fanboy: [voice from radio] Hello, Boog. I see you got our present.
[At the Frosty Mart...]
Boog: [voice from radio] It's you!
Fanboy: That's right, Boog.
Lenny: [off camera] Could you please untie me? [He is tied up in a chair] I really don't care what you do to the Chimp Chomp ma -
Chum Chum: Quiet, you! [Shoves a hot dog in Lenny's mouth]
Boog: What have you done with my Chimp Chomp? You animals! Put her on! [Fanboy points the radio to the machine, which beeps sadly] Chimp Chomp? Baby? Can you hear me? Are they feeding you quarters? Baby?
Fanboy: She's fine, for now. But if you ever want to see your precious machine again, meet us behind the Frosty Mart in one hour, and bring the stuff. [turns off radio]
Boog: [Frantically drives the bus] I'M COMING FOR YOU, CHIMP CHOMP!!!
Fanboy: Oh, I think that went quite well.

[That night, Boog drives the bus into the alley way of the mart and parks it. Moaning, he steps off the bus]
Boog: [nervously] I'm the king of boppin'. [whistles]
Fanboy: [off camera] That's far enough!
[Fanboy is in the dark at first, then a spotlight shines on him to reveal himself. He is wearing a fedora and long, beige coat]
Fanboy: Did you bring the stuff?
Boog: Yes. It's right here.
Fanboy: [jumps onto Boog] Did you bring cups? We need cups!!
Boog: First - show me that Chimp Chomp's okay.
[Fanboy motions toward the Chimp Chomp machine. It beeps]
Boog: Baby, you're okay! [runs up to it. It goes beep-beep-boop] Wait a minute. Beep, beep, boop"? Chimp Chomp goes "boop, boop. beep". Something ain't right here! [He lits up the machine, which was only cardboard. Chum Chum was underneath, imitating the sounds with a microphone]
Chum Chum: Boop, boop, boop. [Boog growls at him] Boop, boop...boop.
Boog: Urrrrgh! Come here, you little -- [gets tripped by Chum Chum, who runs off]
Chum Chum: [gets on the bus while imitating a motorbike] Sorry, Boog. We'll save some blue just for you.
[The door slams shut. Boog growls]

[Inside the bus...]
Fanboy: Okay, I'll steer, you work the pedals.
Chum Chum: Got it! [presses the gas pedal with his foot]
[The bus only crashes into the wall. F&C are dizzy, but then they get bonked by the airbags behind them]
Fanboy: I think that also went quite well.
Boog: [looms upward at them] Oh, I am gonna bop the boppin' bop out of you two.
[The bus starts to rumble]
Fanboy: Uh-oh! Let's go!
[The door opens and F&C run out. Boog catches them by the capes]
Boog: Gotcha! [sees the rumbling bus] Huh?
[The bus's roof breaks open and spurts out a geyser of Frosty Freezy Freeze. Parts of it then squirt and curve out like a fountain]
Boog: Holy burrito! [F&C leave. He then sees the falling bus sign, which hits him] I'm in pain over here. [The sign squishes him] Under here.

[Some of the kids come up and fill their cups with freeze]
Lupe/Nancy/Chris Chuggy/Duke/Michael: THE FROSTY BUS! HOORAY!
(Song: The Frosty Bus Song)
Fanboy/Chum Chum: [singing offscreen] The Frosty Bus, The Frosty Bus
Means Frosty Freeze for all of us
[F&C come in and clink their cups. Hank comes in and does his robot dance one last time] Hank: Frosty Freezy Freeze
I want a Frosty Freezy Freeze
I really want one, want one, want one

Previous:
"Refill Madness"
Transcripts Next:
"The Tell-Tale Toy"

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