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Return to "Separation Anxiety".

[We start by seeing the Fanlair. Scene switches to Fanboy and Chum Chum, who wake up respectively while singing]

(Song: Together Forever)

Fanboy: To...
Chum Chum: To...
Fanboy and Chum Chum: To...

Fanboy: Together!
Fanboy and Chum Chum: Together!
We're friends, friends, friends together
Fanboy: We both like swiss and cheddar
Chum Chum: Though we do like feta better
Fanboy: True!

[At school...]
Chum Chum: Together!
Fanboy: Together!
Chum Chum: My tennis shoes are leather
Fanboy: And mine are plastic pleather
Chum Chum: Yeah, we're still together

Fanboy: Together!
Chum Chum: Together!
Fanboy: We break our bones together
Chum Chum: But fixing them's a pleasure
Fanboy: ♪ And fun beyond all measure ♪

[genre changes to Broadway]

Chum Chum: Our friendship's what we treasure
Fanboy: When we're at our leisure
Fanboy and Chum Chum: As long as we're together, I swear that we will never...

Hank: Be quiet! It's Quiet Time. Can't you read? [Points to a note on the blackboard reading "QUIET TIME"]
Fanboy: Reading? I don't think we've covered that.
Chum Chum: Yeah, what grade do you think we're in?
Hank: [Picks up F&C] We'll call this strike 1. Now, take your seats! [Puts F&C at their desks] And I don't want to hear a peep. I need absolute quiet while I work on my model Swiss Village. Ooh! Winter's coming early! [sprinkles some fake snow onto the model and yodels]

Chum Chum: Fanboy, we didn't get to finish our song!
Fanboy: I know! We always finish our song. Wait! I have an idea!
[Giggling, Fanboy opens his desk and he and Chum Chum stick their heads inside it]
Fanboy and Chum Chum: I swear that we will never be apart... [pause] Together!
Fanboy: Phew, that was close.
Chum Chum: Yeah. Hey Fanboy, can I borrow a pencil?
Fanboy: Sure, buddy. [opens desk, but the notes to the song fly out]
Notes: I swear that we wil never be apart!
Fanboy: Uh-oh! [Tries to get back the notes, but to no avail]

[Hank puts the last snowflake on the model]
Hank: There, the last snowflake is in place, and with no two alike.
[The notes fly by]
Notes: I swear that we wil never be apart! I swear that we wil never be apart... [Start getting louder which rumbles the set]
Hank: Holy swiss cheese! [Holds onto the model as the notes disappear] Ah. Ooh. [The last note flies by]
Note: Together! [Breaks the set]
Hank: Oh, my beautiful town of Mufflinflusen! [To F&C] I am so angry, I can see straight. That's strike 2. Time for your punishment!
Chum Chum: Punishment? But don't we get 3 strikes?
Kyle: [Floating upside down from the ceiling] Ooh, ohh, back sass! Isn't that strike 3? [disappears]
Hank: The butt-kisser's right.
Kyle: [reappears] Thank you. [disappears again]

Hank: You leave me no choice but...to separate your desks!
Chum Chum: [gasp]
Fanboy: Separate our desks?
Chum Chum: Please, Mr. Mufflin, anything but that! We're sorry!
Hank: "Sorry" won't save those poor trapped Mufflinflusians. [To Fanboy] You're coming up front. [Starts pulling Fanboy's desk away from Chum Chum's]
Fanboy: Chum Chum! [his desk retreats to Chum Chum's]
Hank: What the - ? [F&C hug, but he pulls Fanboy's desk away again, which then retreats, but the desk's fronts touch]
Fanboy: [chuckles] Must be the magnetic power of our friendship.
[Hank pushes the desk's fronts away, but they squish him. He pushes Fanboy's desk, but it flies over and knocks Chum Chum's to the ground, making the tops of the desks touch each other on the floor. They laugh, while Hank groans. Fanboy's desk touches Chum Chum's on the rim, but gets pulled away eventualy retreating. This continues several times until F&C's heads are touching. Hank grabs Fanboy's desk and shakes him off, and grabs him by the feet dragging him to the front of the class]

Chum Chum: FANBOY!!!
Fanboy: CHUM CHUM!!! [To Hank] No! Mr. Mufflin, please! You can't separate us! We need to be together. It's our Ancient Chinese Destiny! Ple-he-he-hease! He can't live without me! We'll share a kidney! No! It'll -- it'll -- it'll rip a hole in the space-time contimuum! The fate of the universe is at stake!
Hank: Quit your nonsensical tamshannery.
Kyle: Ha-ha, you got in troub - [gets kicked out of his seat]
Hank: [puts Fanboy in the seat where Kyle was] There. I'm gonna be watching you, both of you. [walks away]
Fanboy: Chum Chum!
[He imagines himself and Chum Chum far out in spotlights. Chum Chum's spotlight goes out, leaving Fanboy heartbroken]
Fanboy: [crying] Chum Chum.

[Not so long later, we see a close-up of a quill going into an ink jar. The image is sepia-tone as Fanboy writes Chum Chum a letter while fake snow falls]
Fanboy: [writing letter] "My dearest Chum Chum, the 2½ minutes we have been separated pain me like the time I tried to grab that hot dog with my tongue." [briefly, we see a photo of what happened. Fanboy is screaming while his tongue is in the hot dog warmer. Chum Chum, Boog and Lenny are pulling on him. Back in reality, he honors his burnt tongue] "Sometimes I think I hear your gentle voice fall about my ear. but then I realize it's just the squish-squish of Duke giving me a wet wily." Grr! Duke! "I must bring this letter to a close, as it appears spitball winter has come early this year." [We see Cheech making spitball snow] "I remain, as always, your devoted best buddy, Lance Corporal Tobias Cranapple Fanboy III, DDS."
[The colors go back to normal. Chum Chum wipes a tear from his eye as he reads the letter, then writes one back]
Chum Chum: [writing letter] "Dear Fanboy, Hi! Things stink around here without you. Chris Chuggy keeps trying to get me to smell his finger."
Chris Chuggy: [sticks finger out] Wah-wah.
Chum Chum: "If you miss me, check this box. [scene goes back to Fanboy] Okay, smell you later! Not you, Chris, stop it! Your BFF forever, Chum Chum."
Fanboy: [sniffs letter, then starts writing another] "Yes, Chum Chum, I will check this box." [puts letter in envelope and gives it a gum seal] Kyle! [puts the letter in Kyle's face] You must carry this letter to Chum Chum. And I implore you, make haste. Do not tarry!
Kyle: [rolling his eyes] Oh, for heaven's sake! [Hands Chum Chum the letter] Here.
[Chum Chum gets the envelope, chews the gum seal and reads the letter]
Fanboy: Did he get it? [Kyle glares at him in an annoyed "Yes, he did" expression] Good. Now, tell him I will not rest until we are reunited!

[Montage!]
[Hank is humming while he puts a sun on his model. F&C give each other a thumbs-up and Fanboy puts his helmet on. He activates a mechanism in his desk causing it to fly up and parachute him to the floor. Fanboy is about to reach Chum Chum when he starts to fly away from him. it turns out Kyle is using a fan to blow Fanboy away and into Hank's arms]
Fanboy: Strike 4?

[Hank puts a shovel on his model]
Chum Chum: Mr. Mufflin?
Hank: What is it?
Chum Chum: Um, I dropped my pencil, and I can't reach it. Could you get it for me?
Hank: Oh, where is it?
Chum Chum: It rolled under the...school. [Looks at him with big pleeding eyes]
Hank: Ugh, again?
[He leaves, F&C give each other a thumbs-up. Hank tilts the school with a lever, making the room tilt. Chum Chum winks and gives Fanboy a thumbs-up. Fanboy pulls a lever on his desk, making him slide to Chum Chum. He was about to reach him when Hank stops him]
Hank: Going somewhere?
Fanboy: Uh-uh. [gets pushed back to his original spot]

[Hank is humming as he activates a ski lift on his model. F&C put glider gizmos on their chairs and put steering wheels on the tables, turning them into bumper cars. They ride the desks around the class, about to meet up with each other when Chuggy's desk bumps them away]
Hank: One more hole... [puts a nail in a hunk of cheese on the model] That's it! Now, that's what I call swiss -- [Sees F&C's desks charging toward him] cheese and macaroni!
[The desks approach, but they stop. They all sigh, but Kyle drives his desk toward them]
Kyle: Ooh, this is fun.
[He knocks F&C out of the desks, causing them to fall down on Hank's model]
Hank: No!
[CRASH! The model is in ruins]
Kyle: Oopsie, heh. Auf Wiedersehen!
[End of montage]

Hank: Ooh-ah. Oh, sweet Mufflinflusen! [crying] You two! [picks up F&C] You destroyed Mufflinflusen! That's it, I am separating you two permanently!
Fanboy and Chum Chum: WHAT?!?
Hank: I'm gonna see to it you're in separate classrooms. Maybe even separate schools! [Puts F&C at their desks, then kicks Chum Chum's to the wall]
Chum Chum: No!
Fanboy: No, Mr. Mufflin, Please! [Hank pushes his desk] Chinese Destiny! KIDNEY! SPACE-TIME CONTINUUM!!!
Hank: Yeah, yeah, fate of the universe. I've heard it all be -- for the love of lederhosen!

[A black hole has appeared, sucking everything and everyone in it]
Chris Chuggy: Wah-wah! [gets sucked in]
Nancy: Yah! [gets sucked in]
[Man-Arctica enters]
Man-Arctica: Ah, ho-ho.
Fanboy: Man-Arctica!
Man-Arctica: Where am I? I was just fighting Glaxnor the Space Squid in the Zeta-Jones Quadrant. It's as if a hole's been ripped in the space-time continuum.
Hank: Space? Time? Oh, dear.
Man-Arctica: [gasp] Orange kid there...purple kid here? Great Caesar's Ice Floe! What idiot separated these boys' desks?
Hank: Uh...uh...well, the purple one smashed my glockenspiel.
Man-Arctica: [slaps Hank's fack] You fool! Don't you know that by separating their desks, you've put the fate of the entire universe at stake?
Chum Chum: I tried to tell him!
Kyle: Um, little help here? I seem to be caught in the tentacles of an intergalactic beast! [he is thrust around by a tentacle in the hole]
Man-Arctica: Glaxnor! Fear not, foppy citizen of the galaxy. There's not much time, boys! You know what must be done.
Fanboy: [looks at the camera seriously] Mm-hmm.
[He and Chum Chum scoot their desks up to each other, which sends a huge beam of light upward. When it goes away, the black hole disappears, and everything is back to normal. Kyle is released from Glaxnor's tentacle]

Kyle: Oh, thank you, Man-Artica! [incorrectly pronounces "Arctica"]
Man-Arctica: That's Man-Arctica, with a hard "C" in the middle. It't tricky. Man-Arctica out! [leaves, Kyle is amazed]
Fanboy: Hiya, Chum Chum. You miss me?
Chum Chum: Does Glaxnor poop an asteroid belt?
Fanboy: Ah. Now, that's how you restore balence to the universe.
Chum Chum: I'll never move this desk again.
Fanboy: Okay... [squeaking fart, which inches his desk a little. He giggles]
Chum Chum: Ew! [giggles] Mr. Mufflin, can I move seats? [notices that Hank is gone] Mr. Mufflin? Where'd he go?

[We see Hank in space, floating in a bubble while yodeling quietly as a punishment for what happened. The episode ends.]

Previous:
"The Incredible Shrinking Fanboy"
Transcripts Next:
"Strings Attached"

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