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Return to "Robo-mance".

[Scene starts at the Frosty Mart. Dollarnator is sitting down, his screen is blue. In front of him, Chris Chuggy gives Yo a valentine, and they walk off together holding hands]
Dollarnator: Sigh.
[Fanboy and Chum Chum come out]
Fanboy: Ah. What a frostabulous day, Chum Chum! [they sip]
Chum Chum: And we don't have a care in the world to spoil it. [they sip]
Dollarnator: [sees F&C] SIIIIGH. [kicks a trash can]
Fanboy: So, what do you wanna do today, best pal o' mine?
Chum Chum: I don't know. Sit around and gloat about how awesome our lives are? [they clink, then sip]
Dollarnator: [fused] I said, SIIIIGH!!! [grunts and kick's Boog's car Sandy over a building, causing it to explode]
[F&C finally hear Dollarnator]
Fanboy: Hey, Dollarnator! Why the blue screen?
Dollarnator: I feel so lonely. Look around! Everybody's got somebody special to share their lives with, but me. I just want to find a nice girl -- you know, someone I can grow obsolete with?
[Scene dissolves to a vision of Dollarnator with a female robot, Mrs. Dollarnator]
Dollarnator: [voiceover] Maybe start a family, you know, take care of them when they go "Hee-huh!".
Baby female robot: Hee-huh!
[End of vision]
Dollarnator: Aw, who am I kidding? I'll never find someone like that! [sobs] Now, I know why humans cry!
Chum Chum: Come on, buddy. We know just how to cheer you up!

[Oz Comix...]
Fanboy and Chum Chum: [off camera] Comics!
[Inside, Dollarnator's screen is no longer blue, but he's still sad. F&C pop up in front of a comic desk]
Fanboy: And I know just the one to do the trick. [pulls out a comic, but a robotic arm takes it away] Hm. Odd. No matter, I know another one that's even more cheer-uppy. [takes out another comic, but the arm takes that away] Hmm? [takes out a third, but the arm takes it away] Huh?! [continues taking out comics, but the arm keeps taking them] Urr. What - is - going - on - around - heeeere? Ugh!!! [the desk slides away] Huh?
[His perspective. A female robot, Julie Android, is holding the desk]
Julie: Thank you for almost shopping at Oz Comix. Please come, and not read, again.
Fanboy: [wrestles over the desk with Julie] Oz, what is this shiny metal person?!?
[Oz comes down in his egg chair]
Oz: Oh, uh-uh-eh, it's all right, Julie! They've attained Level 1 clearance. [walks over to them]
Julie: Very well, Mr. Harmounian.
Oz: Boys, I'd like you to meet my new robot librarian and collection curator, Julie Android.
Julie: My systems predict current customers will cause irreversible damage to entire inventory in t-minus 10 seconds. [as she says this, F&C blow bubble gum so hard, the bubbles make Julie all messy. The gum falls off] Recalculating: Negative. 2 seconds.
Oz: Julie Android, why don't you start organizing my action figures by size and potency of weapon?
Julie: Very well. [backs up] Beep, beep, beep, beep...
Fanboy: So Oz, let me get this straight. From now on, your store is going to be highly organized and guarded by some robotic libraian who's --
Julie: Shush.
Fanboy: [whispering] -- gonna make us quiet all the time and clean up after ourselves?! We might as well go to a library!
Chum Chum: [he and Fanboy start to leave] At least a real library smells funny.
Fanboy: Come on, Dollarnator!
[Fanboy pulls on Dollarnator's arm, but he does not move]
Fanboy: Wha! [they slingshot back, accidently detaching Dollarnator's arm] Dollarnator?
Dollarnator: Analysis of breath: Taken away.
[His perspective, Julie picks up a trash can and eats the trash]
[Dollarnator enters Love Mode]
Fanboy: Dollarnator? Hello? [waves the arm in front of Dollarnator, trying to snap him out] Are you okay?
Dollarnator: [snaps out] Wow. She's amazing!
Fanboy: Her? [sees Julie finish eating the trash]
Chum Chum: Really?
Fanboy: You like her?
Dollarnator: She's the schnorb's knees!
Fanboy: Well, here's your chance to talk to her! She's coming this way!
[Julie starts to approach Dollarnator]
Dollarnator: Hommina, hommina, hommina, hommina, hommina, hommina...SHEILDS!!! [disguises himself as a normal Chimp Chomp machine]
Julie: Bee yoo, boo-yoo, boo, boo. [rolls away] Fanboy: Dollarnator, you missed your chance.
Dollarnator: I can't! I'm too shy!
Chum Chum: Looks like we're gonna have to bring him out of his shell.
Fanboy: Uh-huh-huh!

[Fanboy goes over to the register and presses the keys in rhythm. He hums along, creating electronic beats. Chum Chum presses a remote to the beat of the register and three Mechatechs do a dance on the shelf]

(Song: Robo-mance)

Chum Chum: Can you hear her little motor run? (ooh, ooh)
Fanboy: She barely weighs a metric ton (ooh, ooh)
Dollarnator: With all the 0's in my past, could she be the 0-1?
Chum Chum: Don't even try to resist her
Fanboy: You'll only blow a transistor
Fanboy and Chum Chum: There's something big tonight down in your gigibytes, it's Robo-mance
(Robo-mance)

 The computer language of love is so basic
There's no need to re-write your code
Fanboy: Just control-alt-delete your worries
And tab-shift to lover mode
Dollarnator: I think I'm gonna overload!
Fanboy and Chum Chum: Look out, he's about to explode!

Dollarnator: What's going on inside my CPU? (ooh, ooh)
My screen is fogging, and I don't have a view (ooh, ooh)
Someone run my antivirus app, cause it feels like I've got the flu!
Fanboy and Chum Chum: (He's got the flu!)
He's quaking in his bolts with fright
Dollarnator: There's terror in my terabytes!
Fanboy and Chum Chum: It's as we suspected, you've been infected with Robo-mance
(Robo-mance)

Beep-beep-boop, boop-boop-beep
She's your screensaver when you go to sleep
1-0-0-0-0-1
Robo-mance is so much fun!

Yes, it can all compute if you just reboot with Robo-mance

You'll be a happy clam if you reprogram
Maybe add some RAM, even start a fam!
Yes, it's no flim-flam, smile for the cam
It's a Robo-mance!

All: Robo-mance!

[Back outside, Dollarnator is humming the song as he walks happy and peppy with F&C behind him]
Fanboy: Wow! Dollarnator! You really got a spr-ing in your step.
Dollarnator: Your song gave me courage. Also, I got new springs. [jumps upward, coming down holding a ring box as hearts fly around him] Hmm...
Chum Chum: What'cha got there?
Dollarnator: Oh, this? It's nothing, just a little gift to get Julie to go out with me.

[Inside, Julie has finished sorting the comic books when Dollarnator comes in]
Dollarnator: Julie! Guess who's here!
Julie: User unknown.
Dollarnator: Hahaha. [to F&C] She's such a kidder.
Julie: Welcome to Oz Comix. [scans Dollarnator]
Fanboy: Huh? Ah.
Julie: Dollarnator. Please refrain from touching, examining, or enjoying any of our merchandise.
Dollarnator: Hahaha! What a sense of humor. [to Julie] Anyway, I was wondering if...you would...go out with me? [opens the ring box and presents her with a small red ring]
Julie: [scans the ring, then her eyes turn red] RED ALERT!
Dollarnator: Wow. It really brings out the red in your eyes.
Julie: Unauthorized possession of Item 2438-79.
Dollarnator: [to a worried F&C] Told you she'd like it.

[the doors and windows lock]
Fanboy: Uhhhh...Dollarnator? Where'd you get that ring?
Dollarnator: I found it in a box of cereal, right over there. [points to a shelf of cereal boxes]
Fanboy and Chum Chum: Dahh!
Chum Chum: That's one of Oz's collectible cereals!
Dollarnator: [eating Ice Monster Crunch Crunch] Hmm? Sorry. Crunching. Could you repeat?
Julie: Must. Protect. Cereal. Collection.

[Julie transforms into a mean fighting robot, complete with lightsabers. Her hairstyle changes as well]

Dollarnator: Julie! You look different. Did you do something new with your hair?
[A target light lands on Dollarnator's face]
Fanboy: Uhh, I don't think that's a hairdo!
[Julie zaps]
Fanboy/Chum Chum/Dollarnator: Ahh! [run for cover]
[Julie comes upon the video game stands. She zaps the first game revealing Fanboy]
Fanboy: AHH!
[Julie zaps the second game, revealing Chum Chum]
Chum Chum: AHHHH!
[They stare at Dollanator, shelding himself]
Fanboy/Chum Chum/Dollarnator: AAAAAHHHH! [run]
[The trio dodge Julie's laser as she zaps all over the place. She suddenly disappears]
Fanboy: [quivering] Where'd she go? [Julie reappears above them] Huh?
Fanboy/Chum Chum/Dollarnator: AAAAHHH! [run]
[They dodge several of Julie's lasers, then hide behind the counter]

Oz: [enters on stair chair holding a bucket of chicken] Julie? Where did you file the toilet paper? AHH! [dodges Julie's laser]
Fanboy: Oz, make her stop!
Oz: I - I'm afraid I can't! I programmed her so that if a collectable were threatened, she would destroy the perpetrator by any means necessary!
Dollarnator: [eating Suger Bats cereal] What's sup?
Fanboy: But she's destroying your collectibles!
[Julie shoots a shelf, breaking the toys on it]
Chum Chum: DO SOMETHING!!!

[Dollarnator stares at the ring in his hand]
Dollarnator: [thinking] Maybe the answer is love.
[Dollarnator is indignant. He approaches Julie]
Dollarnator: Julie, you don't want to do this.
Julie: Grr.
Dollarnator: I know what you're going through. I've bad hair days myself, but it will all be alright. In the future. Everyone's hair is lasers. So please, look into your hard drive and try to remember all the good times we --[Then, mean] YAH! [Zaps]
Julie: Dah!
[Julie gets hit with the laser, she slams into the wall]

Julie: [disembodied] Thursday fashion carnuba wax --
Dollarnator: Yeah! I did it! She totally went for it! [To Julie] I forgot to mention in the future, we shoot each other with our hair.
Fanboy: Dollarnator, you saved us!
Chum Chum: Yeah, but at what cost? Dollarnator, you destroyed your girlfriend.
Dollarnator: You're right, now I will never know true love. Siiiigh. [hears a zap] Hmm? Wha - ? Gah! [falls over]

[In a flash of light, the core four gasp as they see someone appear. It was the Mrs. Dollarnator from the vision earlier]
Dollarnator: Um...who are you?
Mrs. Dollarnator: I am the future Mrs. Dollarnator. Years from now, [holds Fanboy] This one, Fanman, programs me to return to this time and scoop my Cuddlenator off his feet.
Dollarnator: She - she called me "Cuddlenator"! [enters Love Mode once more]
Fanboy/Chum Chum/Oz: Awwwwww!
Mrs. Dollarnator: Come with me if you want to love.
Dollarnator: Oh. I don't know, I...don't know if I'm ready.
Fanboy/Chum Chum/Oz: Mm-hmm? [sniff]
[Dollarnator stands up and takes Mrs. Dollarnator's hand]
Fanboy: Oh, get out of here, you crazy kids.
Mrs. Dollarnator: Thank you, future doctor Fanman.
[Fanboy waves]
Mrs. Dollarnator: [salutes] President Chum Chum.
[Chum Chum salutes]
[The robots start to disappear]
Chum Chum: They're gonna be so happy together.
[They disappear. Suddenly, Julie's voice turns their attention to her]

Julie: Commencing detonation sequence. [Oz: Hmm?] In t-minus 10, 9, 8...
Oz: Julie Android! You're back! [runs up to her with F&C] Are you okay? [Holds up his right index finger] How many fingers am I holding up?
Julie: 7...
Oz: No.
Julie: 6...
Oz: You're getting warmer.
Julie: 5....
Oz: We'll stay right here with you till you get this.
Julie: 4...
Oz: Not going anywhere.
Julie: 3...
Oz: Almost there!
Julie: 2...
Oz: You can do it!
Julie: 1.
Fanboy/Chum Chum/Oz: Yay!/Yeah!
Oz: I knew she could -- [Julie explodes] Wha - okay.

Previous:
"HypnotOZed"
Transcripts Next:
"Rattleskunkupine!"

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