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HypnotOZed/Transcript

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Return to "HypnotOZed".

[Scene opens up with a view of Fanboy and Chum Chum lugging a crate to Oz Comix]
Fanboy and Chum Chum: [laughing]
[They enter Oz Comix, where they se Oz reading a Man-Arctica comic]
Fanboy: Hey, Oz! Look what we found outside!
Chum Chum: Ta-da!
Fanboy: Somebody's got a package!
[Oz jumps onto the crate and puts his feet in F&C's mouths]
Oz: Shh, will you keep it down? You know how my mother feels about new packages?
Fanboy: [muffled] She doesn't like em?
Chum Chum: [muffled] Not at all.
[Oz takes his feet out of F&C's mouths, but leaves behind his shoes]
Oz: We have to be very quiet.
[F&C stick the shoes on their tongues out, then Fanboy pulls out a rod iron]

[Fanboy places the rod in a slot near the lid on the crate, then tries to open it]
Oz: Shh! She'll hear!
Chum Chum: Better use the silent, sir. [holds up a smaller, round metal tube thing]
Fanboy: Oh. [takes the tube and puts it on the rod. He grunts while trying to open the crate]
Oz: More.
[Fanboy continues to grunt. Suddenly, the lid opens and flies out the window, breaking it]

Oz's mom: [off-camera] Ozzie! I hear new package!
[Oz's mom comes down on her stair chair]
Oz: Eh, hello, mother. Is that a new hair bun?
Fanboy and Chum Chum: [nervous giggles]
[Oz's mom presses a remote and flies her stair chair over to the boys]
Oz's mom: Ozvald!
[Fanboy and Chum Chum pick up the crate and start to leave]
Fanboy: We'll unpack it at home for you, bye! [he and Chum Chum leave]
Oz: [moans worringly]
Oz's mom: Vhat did I tell you?
Oz: No more toy-buyings until there's toy-sellings.
Oz's mom: And vhat did you do?
Oz: Toy-buyings.
Oz's mom: I've had it up to here, Ozzie! I'm warning you: If you don't start selling soon, this whole kit and caboodle will be MY Yogurt Shop!
Oz: [shriek]
Oz's mom: And all toppings will be... fresh! Fruit! [goes back up the stairs]

[Oz is moaning worryingly. Suddenly, he looks down to see another package]
Oz: Hey, what's this? A second package? I don't remember ordering this. [sneaks over to the package]
TV voice: [from upstairs] And now, back to "Goats say the Darndest Thing".
Goats on TV: [from upstairs] Baa./Woohoohoohoohoohoo!
[Oz starts to open the package]
Oz: Ahh...choo! [takes off the ribbon, then the box opens, revealing a simple BoomBot] Ooh, a vintage BoomBot! I wonder what it's programmed to say. Wait-it might be a collector's item. Oh, then again, it's no longer mint-in-box!

[Oz presses a button on the BoomBot's head. Suddenly...]
BoomBot: Ozwald Harmounian...
Oz: Yes, BoomBot?
BoomBot: You are now under my control.
Oz: [falls into some sort of trance-like state] Seriously?
BoomBot: Seriously. When you hear the bell, you must sell. Do you understand?
Oz: No.
BoomBot: Will you do it anyway?
Oz: Yes. Hear the bell, I must sell. Hear the bell, I must sell. Hear the bell, I must sell! I must sell!
Robot: This toy will self-distruct.
Oz: I'm sorry, what was that last- [The BoomBot explodes, he reverts to normal state] Woah, that was weird.

[Suddenly, the door opens, ringing the bell. Oz falls into the trance-like state]
Benjamin: Hey mister, can I use your bathroom?
Oz: Hear the bell, I must sell.
Benjamin: Woah. You mean, this is for sale?
Oz: [picks up Banjamin in his fist, laughing] Everything is for sale.
Benjamin: Yay.

[Meanwhile, F&C are walking, enjoying the toy they found in the crate]
Fanboy: I can't wait to show Oz what was in that crate. The Diving Belaruski! [squeezes toy]
Chum Chum: When he gets the bends, his limbs really bend!
Chris Chuggy/Michael/Yo/Patton: [Laughing]
Fanboy: Why is Oz's door open?

[F&C peek in through the window. Before their eyes, they see Oz selling all his toys to a crowd of customers with money in hand]
Oz: Sold, sold, sold, sold, sold!
Hank: How much for this?
Oz: Only $999.99.
Hank: [holding a blue fake dollar] All I have is toy money! [giggles]
Oz: [takes the fake dollar] Perfect for buying toys.
Murphy: Can we pay with bubble gum?
Oz: We accept regular and already been chewed.
[the toddlers chew gum and spit them into Oz's face]

[Outside...]
Benjamin/Shelby/Molly: [laughing]
[F&C look at each other and run in]
Fanboy: Oz! Oz! [squeezes to the front of the crowd] What are you doing?!?
Chum Chum: Oz, let the price come down and step away from the toys.
Oz: I can't, everything must be sold. [Shoots a stamp onto Hank]
Hank: [offscreen] Ooh! I'm on sale!
Chum Chum: Oz, you can't sell your toys, they're your babies!
Oz: No. [Holds up a group of rag dolls] These are my babies! And they're free with a purchase of eighty toys. [throws the dolls into the crowd]
Fanboy: But Oz, remember this? [Holds up a framed dollar] This was the FIRST dollar you ever made! And you SWORE you'd never make another.
Fedora Man: I'll give you a nickle for that dollar.
Oz: Sold!
Fanboy: Huh?
[the dollar gets stamped. Oz gives it to Fedora Man]
Oz: And don't forget your change. [shows some framed coins]
Fedora Man: [takes the framed coins] Thank you!
Fanboy and Chum Chum: [moaning]
Chum Chum: I can't believe this is happening! [starts crying]

[Back outside...]
Nancy/Cheech: [laughing]
[Boog comes in playing a video game on a forklift driven by a baby. The baby salutes, then drives away]
[Oz closes the door, ringing the bell. He reverts to normal state]
Oz: Woah, that was weird. [Sees F&C on the floor, cowering] Hey guys! I just had the craziest dream. You were there, and you were there, and all my stuff-- [Notices that all the toys are gone] IS NOT HERE!!! Guys, all my collectibles have been stolen!
Fanboy: They weren't stolen, you sold them!
Chum Chum: And you made me watch!
Oz: AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! [notices the register is pressing itself] Ah! [the register spurts out money from earlier] Nooooooooo! Why would I ever start selling things? [faints]
Fanboy: More importantly, how do we get you to stop?
[Dollarnator walks by, sweeping the money]
Dollarnator: You could always do an idea extraction.
Chum Chum: An extraction? What's that?
Dollarnator: I insert you directly into Oz's brain, and you remove the idea to sell. However, it's a dangerous process. The subject may be reduced to babbling, drooling idiots.
Oz: [whining] What am I gonna play with? Where...where...
Dollarnator: I'll go get the stuff out of my trunk. [leaves]

[That night, Dollarnator's plan is in operation. Fanboy, Chum Chum and Oz are on operating tables with helmets stuck to their heads. The helmets are attached to Dollarnator]
Dollarnator: As your architect, I will build the multilayer construct of Oz’s dream space. Now make sure to watch for the synchronized kicks or you’ll end up in limbo.
Fanboy: Ugh, this is so boring! All I’m hearing is blarghety blargh blargh bleh! Let’s just do it already!
[Dollarnator activates the program. F&C's eyes shoot beams of light, and Oz loses conscience, sending the three into Oz's mind]

[In Oz's mind...]
Fanboy/Chum Chum/Oz: [screaming]
[They land near a table with a brain on it]
Fanboy: [with his cape covering his face] Boy, Oz, your mind is dark!
Oz: Are you sure this is my mind? It seems kind of empty.
[gobbling sounds are heard. The three look up to see flying turkeys]
Oz: Ooh. A flock of Thanksgiving turkeys!
[One of them drops gravy onto Oz's jacket. Oz tastes it]
Oz: Mmm, gravy. Yep, this is my mind!
Fanboy: Okay, we have to find where he got the idea to sell things. [puts hand in brain and feels around for something] It's gotta be around here somewhere. Let's see. [Oz dances weird] That's his pleasure center...motor control... [Oz pretends to drive] balance... [Oz pretends to trip] Ah! here we go, memory. [Racks of giant comic books appear]

Fanboy/Chum Chum/Oz: Wow!
Chum Chum: Wow, Oz. You have a pretty sweet memory collection.
Dollarnator: [From outside Oz's memory] These are all memory books. Moments where Oz got the new idea. You must find the one where he decided to sell.
Chum Chum: [spies a book] Ooh. How bout this memory? "Ozwald Harmounion in: The Case of the Mysterious Package".
Fanboy: [gasp] Look at the date, it's today! Let's check it out. [opens book, and he, Chum Chum and Oz hop in]

[They arrive at a grey scale Oz Comix]
Fanboy: Whoa, cool memory! [looks at Past Chum Chum] Ho ho, whoa, Chum Chum. You look great in Oz's memory.
Chum Chum: [looks at Past Fanboy] Me? You're the one who looks great.
Oz: Quiet down, we should watch for clues.
Fanboy: [whispers to Chum Chum] You do look great, i'm loving this.

[The lid of the crate flies out the window, breaking it]
Past Oz's mom: I hear new package! Ozvald!
Past Fanboy: We'll unpack it at home for you, bye! [He and Past Chum Chum leave. Suddenly, a package appears]
Chum Chum: Hey, look at that.
Oz: I remember that package, but what was in it?
Past Oz: [opens package] Ooh, a vintage BoomBot! I wonder what it's programmed to say. [presses button on BoomBot's head]
Past BoomBot: When you hear the bell, you must sell.
Past Oz: [in trance-like state] Hear the bell, I must sell.
Fanboy: [gasp] That toy gave you the idea to sell! But - who gave you the toy?
Chum Chum: Dollarnator, can you unscramble the voice?
Dollarnator: [From outside Oz's memory] I'm on it.
[There is a rewind sound. Suddenly...]
Past BoomBot (in Oz's mom's voice): Hear the bell, you must sell. Hear the bell, you must sell. Okay, Ozzie?

Oz: AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! It's Mother?!?
Oz's mom: [flies in on stair chair] That's right, it was me!
Fanboy: But - how did you get in here?
Oz's mom: I give your robot free yogurt.
[Outside, Oz is licking a cone of fro-yo]
[Suddenly, Past Oz Comix breaks up]
Oz's mom: Now that Ozzie's such a good seller, he can sell yogurt for ME!
Oz: Not if I can help it! [Puts his hand in the brain, making him act weird. He then pulls out the robot from before] I have the idea!

Fanboy: Dollarnator, we're ready! Kick us outta here! [Hears something] Uh-oh.
Oz's mom: Ozwald! [grows into a giant]
Fanboy: Dollarnator?
Giant Oz's mom: He must sell! He must sell! He must sell! He must sell! [falls, turning into Oz's mom clones]
Clones: He must sell! He must sell! He must sell! He must sell! [continues until Dollarnator wakes up]
Fanboy: Oz, don't let her get the idea!
[The clones charge at Oz, but he defeats them one by one like a video game]
Fanboy: Ahh!
[More clones appear]
Oz: We gotta get out of here with the idea!
Fanboy/Chum Chum/Oz: DOLLARNATOR!!!

[Dollarnator is still eating his fro-yo]
Fanboy/Chum Chum/Oz: [from Oz's mind] DOLLARNATOR!
[Dollarnator kicks Chum Chum's table, waking the three up. They gasp and moan]
Fanboy: Are we back? [Breifly, he pauses as his eyes shoot a light from before. Dollarnator smacks him]
Dollarnator: You're back.
Oz: [grunt]
Chum Chum: Oz, are you still brainwashed?
Oz: Not anymore. [breaks mind-robot]
Fanboy/Chum Chum/Oz: Yeah! [smack each other's hands]
Oz's mom: You win this time, Ozzie, but you still have no more junk! [laughs and flies away]
Oz: Grr!

[Later, at the park, the kids are playing with Oz's toys when Oz, Fanboy and Chum Chum come out of the sandbox]
Oz: WHY TOYS?!? [takes back the toys one by one] I'll take this, and that, no backsies! [giggles] I love my toys. [He, Fanboy and Chum Chum sink back into the sandbox]
Kids: [dejected] Aww.

Previous:
"Igloo of Irratation"
Transcripts Next:
"Robo-mance"

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