|
Except you need the sun for that, you idiot!!!
|
[Scene opens in outer space. Man-Arctica is seen flying like a comet toward Earth]
Fanboy: ♪ Bubble Gum, Bubble Gum, in... ♪
[Shifts to a ground view, with feet standing in a circle. Fanboy is pointing to everyone's feet in rhythm]
Fanboy: ♪ ...a dish. How many pieces do you wish ♪ [stops on Kyle's foot]
Kyle: Gum?
[camera pans upward to Kyle]
Kyle: None for me, thank you. My orthodontist, strictly, forbids it.
Chum Chum: Kyle! For the last time! It's not actual gum! It's just how we pick who's it in Freeze Tag! [to Fanboy] Sorry, Fanboy. Continue.
Fanboy: Hmm!
[shifts back to the ground view, Fanboy starts pointing at everyone's feet again]
Fanboy: ♪ Bubble Gum, Bubble Gum, in a... ♪
[Man-Arctica's foot stomps into the view, causing everyone to fall back and scream]
Everyone: Man-Arctica!
Man-Arctica: Greetings, young earth denizens! What manner of play ritual are you performing?
Chum Chum: Freeze Tag! Wanna play?
Man-Arctica: Hmm? Freeze Tag? You don't mean the warrior rite of passage on the cobol ice shelf?
Fanboy: Probably. How we play is: one of us becomes "it"...
Man-Arctica: The eliminator, yes...
Fanboy: Then, everyone else runs and hides...
Man-Arctica: Mmm-hmm. The prey flees from their imminent doom, go on...
Fanboy: Then, the guy who's it chases people...
Man-Arctica: Stalks them...
Chum Chum: Uh-huh! And when he catches them...
Man-Arctica: They are eliminated with extreme prejudice! I-I understand correctly! I'll participate, but only if I, can do the annihilating.
Chum Chum: Okay, but it's got to be with two hands, none of this wimpy one-finger business. [to Chuggy] Ring a bell, Chuggy?
Chris Chuggy: [sadly] Waaaah.
Fanboy: Okay! Man-Arctica's it! [to Man-Arctica] Now, close your eyes and count to --
[Man-Arctica's eyes start flashing]
Man-Arctica: Florb, flap, seep, shlut. Florb, flap, seep, shlut. [talking gets faster] Florb, flap, seep, shlut. Florb, flap, seep, shlut. Florb, flap, seep, shlut. Florb, flap, seep... [eyes stop flashing] FLOOOOOOP! Ready or not... [faces Fankylechum] ...here I COOOOOME!
[he releases ice breath as Fankylechum screams, before you know it, Fankylechum is frozen in an ice chunk. The kids scream]
Fanboy: Man-Arctica! What have you done to Fankylechum?!?
Man-Arctica: He has been eliminated! [the kids chatter with fear] What? I counted to floop! He really should've fled in terror! Well? What are you waiting for? FLOOOOOOP!
Chum Chum: Everybody...RUN!
[they instantly run offscreen]
Man-Arctica: Prey has scattered. Now, the hunt may begin. [sees Murphy on a slide and freezes him]
Murphy: But I wasn't playing!
[his ice chunk slides off]
[shift to the kids running down the street, Murphy's ice chunk slides by]
Fanboy: We can hide over there.
[they hide behind the movie theater's box office]
Fanboy: It's gonna be okay. I'm sure once Man-Arctica's done entombing us all in ice, he'll probably just move on to the next planet. Everyone feel better? Show of hands.
00:15:20 [door creaks open] That's the spirit, Lenny! 00:15:23 - He didn't even say olly, olly oxen free. 00:15:27 What kind of sicko doesn't say olly, olly oxen free? 00:15:33 - Come on, lupe. 00:15:34 - Where are you going? 00:15:35 - To make man-arctica stop this silly game. 00:15:38 - And how do you plan on doing that? 00:15:40 - Uh, in case you haven't noticed, I'm cute. 00:15:44 - [sighs] BOYS. 00:15:47 - [squawks] - [yells] Finally, a worthy opponent. 00:17:33 [yelping] Oz, you got to help us. 00:17:35 Man-arctica's right outside. 00:17:37 - And he's crazy! 00:17:38 - So he's finally here. 00:17:41 I always knew this day would come. 00:17:44 Quickly. 00:17:46 There are preparations to make. 00:17:48 When man-arctica arrives, we've got to be ready to come at him with everything we've got. 00:17:53 [banging] - [screams] - WHAT WAS THAT? 00:17:55 - Oh, probably just mother. 00:17:57 [banging] .. 00:17:59 [banging] And a clubfoot. 00:18:01 Not a good time, mother. 00:18:02 We're kind of waiting for a deranged superhero. 00:18:06 [machinery whirring] [bell dings] Hmm, odd. 00:18:10 [clunking] [all yelp] [all screaming] - [growling] [snarls] - I'll hold off man-arctica while you guys get away. 00:18:29 I got a score to settle. 00:18:32 - But-- - go now! 00:18:34 [both panting] - It's been a long time, man-arctica. 00:18:42 - Ooh, awkward. 00:18:45 Do I know you? 00:18:47 - No. 00:18:48 But I've known you since I was a child. 00:18:51 And I've been waiting for the day when you would finally be standing before me in my shop. 00:18:56 - Let's go, talking earth manatee. 00:19:00 Bring it. 00:19:19 [distorted] OKAY, SERIOUSLY, THIS IS VERY Important. 00:19:22 Make everything out to, "my most awesome fan and bestest friend, " - I'm gonna enjoy this one. 00:19:33 [inhales] - No! you're ruining the posters! 00:19:41 [ice crackling] - Oh, no! 00:19:43 I think I left my wallet in there. 00:19:46 - Come on, fanboy. 00:19:47 We can't stay here. 00:19:49 [both gasp] [both gasping] - Oh, boy. not good. 00:19:57 - Yeah. we should go now. 00:20:00 - It's everyone we know. 00:20:03 - Not everyone. 00:20:04 At least kyle made it out. 00:20:06 Hey! 00:20:07 [both screaming] - Want a lick from my fop-sicle? 00:20:10 [both screaming] - [screams] - [grunts] [yelping] Bah. 00:20:26 [monkeys screeching] Boog! you got to get out of here. 00:20:29 Man-arctica's coming! 00:20:30 - He'll freeze us all if we don't hide! 00:20:33 - Yeah, right. 00:20:34 I ain't moving for nobody. 00:20:36 I'm about to shatter the longest-standing chimp chomp record in the books. 00:20:40 I'm in the zone. 00:20:43 [bell chimes] [both scream] [scanners whirring] - [distorted] I GOT YOU, CHIMPS. 00:20:52 Chimp, chimp, chimp chomp. I got you. 00:20:55 [chuckles] [yelps] Almost there. almost there. 00:21:00 - Ooh, he's not gonna make it. 00:21:02 - Get out of there, boog. 00:21:04 - [moans] - [growls] - [whimpers] Fisty, slappy, make papa proud. 00:21:12 [howls] pop! 00:21:18 [babbling] Forget about it. 00:21:23 - Floop! 00:21:25 [booming footsteps] [teeth chattering] And then there were two. 00:21:36 [both screaming] - Wait, man-arctica. 00:21:37 Before you blast us into frozen oblivion, I just want to say, big fan of your work. 00:21:42 - Well, before today. 00:21:43 - Always good to meet a fan. 00:21:46 Hopefully you'll thaw out by the time my new album drops next week. 00:21:51 [electric guitar riff plays] [inhales] [coughs and wheezes] Oh, by golly. 00:22:03 I seem to be out of frozoxinol 9. 00:22:06 - Uh, what's that? 00:22:07 - It's a mix of slushy blue and pink chemicals that when ingested at a very low temperature produces my freezy breath. 00:22:16 You don't happen to have anything like that on your planet, do you? 00:22:20 [slushy machine rattles] both: UM... 00:22:23 - Uh, nothing comes to mind. 00:22:26 - Yeah, doesn't ring a bell. 00:22:29 - Aw, shoot. 00:22:31 Well, this was a lot of fun. 00:22:33 I guess I'll go put out that warehouse fire I came down here to extinguish. 00:22:39 It's probably just embers now, [both sighing] [ice crackling] - Should we inch our way over to the hot dog warmer? 00:23:19 - Let's.
| Previous: "A Bopwork Orange" |
Transcripts | Next: "I'm Man-Arctica!" |