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Return to "Brain Drain".

[Episode opens as the title card song plays. Fade up on the Fanlair]
Fanboy: [offscreen] Ladies and gentlemen!
[Cut to Fanboy, he is holding a microphone]
Fanboy: Behold as those death-defying daredevils of derring-do, Fanboy and Chum Chum, [Chum Chum giggles] perform their most mind-begoggling stunt ever!
[Cut to Chum Chum in a bathtub, he imitates applause]
Fanboy: Now watch, if you dare, as the [pan to the bathtub] Bathtub of Fury, [a dotted lined arrow trails down the stairs] speeds down the Stairway of Doom, [he walks over a ramp as the arrow follows] over the Jump Ramp of Regret, [the arrow ends pointing at a wet sponge on the floor] and lands on the damp kitchen Sponge [close up of the sponge] of Spongy!...Ness. [sits in the bathtub] Okay, Chum Chum, let's get this party started! Loofah.
Chum Chum: [holds up a loofah sponge] Check!
Fanboy: Grout cleaner.
Chum Chum: [holds up a grout cleaner bottle] Cheeeeeck!
Fanboy: Rubber duckey. [hears squeaking] I'll take that as a check. All systems are go. [sits down in the tub] Fanboy ready!
Chum Chum: [he sits down too] Chum Chum ready!
Yo: [suddenly materializes behind Chum Chum] Yo ready! Hiiii, Chum Chum! [picks him up and nuzzles him] Did my little cutie miss me? [giggles]
Fanboy: Hm? Hm? Hm? [sees Yo] Hmm? [taps her shoulder] Yo, how did you do that?
Yo: Oh! [shows her cell phone] I used the transporter cell phone my daddy bought me. [close up of the phone] It's from twelve years in the future.
Fanboy: Uh...neat. [Yo is kissing Chum Chum] I-I mean, out of the tub, Yo! We're way too heavy now.
Yo: Hmhmhm! Oh, well, then I'll make it much lighter! [starts to de-materialize with Chum Chum]
[Fanboy gasps, then smacks away the phone. He grabs Chum Chum, and they wrestle]
Fanboy: Give him back, Yo!
[He gets Chum Chum back, and Yo gets back her phone]
Yo: BUT I WANT HIM!
Fanboy: Too bad, crazypants! As long as there's a brain in my head, [Chum Chum taps his head] I will never ever let you take Chum Chum for your toy collection.
Chum Chum: [overlapping] Mmmmmhmm.
Yo: But he wants to be with me! He just doesn't know it yet. [de-materializes]

Chum Chum: Thanks, Fanboy! Now let's make stunt history!
Fanboy: Abso-tively! [he and Chum Chum start flapping] Okay, on three. [they duck] One... [they start to tilt the tub] ...two... [the tub tilts] ...THREEEEEEEEEE!!!!!
[The bathtub rolls down the staircase and goes up the ramp]

[Cut to outside, Hank is reading the newspaper while a seagull sips his coffee. The bathtub crashes out of the Fanlair roof in the background. Neither of them notice]
[Cut to Fanboy and Chum Chum in the tub]
Fanboy: Ahhhh-how! Ho ho ho! Ho ho ho hoo hoo! Hoo hoo hoo!
Chum Chum: [overlapping] I like it! Boy, this is fun! Ooh ooh ooh ah ah!
[they slap hands and bounce out of the tub as it suddenly stops flying]
Fanboy/Chum Chum: Woo-hoo!/Yippie!
[the bathtub falls down below them, they float for several seconds and cower]
Chum Chum: Good thing we wore our emergency parachutes! [yanks a cord on his underwear activating a parachute, he floats upward] Whee!
Fanboy: Yep, good thing we -- [sees a string on his hand] Uh-oh. [opens his hand revealing a note] "Dear Fanboy, don't forget to put on your parachute. Love, Fanboy." Aww, and he put little hearts.
[A seagull goes by. Camera zooms out and, after a few seconds, Fanboy starts falling down, screaming]
Fanboy: [notices a cord stuck to his neck] Hey, what's this cord do? [yanks it, his head flap opens] Huh. [his brain pops out] Huh. [gets some sort of dopey expression] Heh. [continues falling and screaming]

[The view begins to spin and the scene changes to say "ZOK!!" The screen breaks revealling Fanboy lying on the floor groaning, his head flap ajar. His brain hits him and bounces across the floor, finally rolling under the couch]
Chum Chum: [laughs offscreen, flying down] Wowie! [lands] Haha! That was awesome. [his parachute covers him. Fanboy is heard giggling strangely] Fanboy?
[Zoom out to the TV. Fanboy comes up, his eyes are looking in different directions and he speaks in some sort of deep dopey voice]
Fanboy: Hoo hoo! [fist pounds the TV] NARWHAL! OOOOOOH!
Chum Chum: [runs up to him and tugs his cape] What's the matter? Did you bump your head? [notices his open head flap] Should this be open? [reaches inside]
Fanboy: [laughs strangely] Tickley!
[cut to the inside of Fanboy's head]
Chum Chum: Fanboy! Your brain is gone! ["Brain is gone" echos. He looks over Fanboy's face]
Fanboy: [sniffs, feels Chum Chum's face] NARWHAL!
Chum Chum: What? [Fanboy snorts] It's me! [Fanboy puts his right fist in his mouth] Your best pal! Chum Chum!
Fanboy: [removes fist] CHUM CHUM! [holds up other fist] Who? [puts right fist in mouth again]
Chum Chum: [gasps] You don't remember me? Uhh... [pause] That's okay. [as Fanboy wiggles his tongue] We'll just get you a new brain, and then you'll be [grabs Fanboy's tongue] right back to being Fanboy. Sound good?
[Fanboy uses his foot to scratch his cheek like a dog, then gives a thumbs up, before turning it over to thumbs down and blows a raspberry]
Chum Chum: Great! [punches his thumb into his mouth] Wait right here.

[Chum Chum goes over to the fridge. Cut to the inside of the fridge door as Chum Chum opens it and searches. Behind him in the background, Fanboy is dragging his butt on the ground like a dog and laughing. Chum Chum opens the emergency brain box]
Chum Chum: It's empty! [close up of the empty box] How many times do I gotta say it? If you use the last replacement brain, don't put the [closes frige door and throws away box] empty carton back in the fridge! [steps on the sponge] Huh? The Sponge of Spongyness! We can use this for a brain. I'll just teach Fanboy how to be himself again, and the sponge will soak up all the information! Easy!

[Scene shifts to the table, Fanboy is trying to close his head flap which is still open. Chum Chum jumps over him, tosses the sponge into Fanboy's head and closes the head flap. Fanboy's eyes spin rapidly in their sockets, then there is a "ding" sound as Fanboy starts to feel different]
Chum Chum: Fanboy, are you all right?
[Fanboy blinks one eye at a time and flaps]
Fanboy: NARWHAL!

[On the couch, Fanboy is bouncing on his head while Chum Chum holds a Frosty Freezy Freeze]
Fanboy: Okay, the first thing you need to know to be Fanboy, is how much you love Frosty Freezy Freezes!
Fanboy: [clapping] Hoo hoo hoo hoo! Hoo hoo!
Chum Chum: Now here. Try some.
[Fanboy chirrs and grabs the cup, he places on his head like a bucket full of sand and reveals it like a sandcastle. He then puts the cup on Chum Chum's head]
Chum Chum: [nervous laugh] Good...

[In the kitchen, Fanboy is on the table in fetal position. Chum Chum has some bread out]
Chum Chum: Now, here's how to make your favorite food: Toasted mayonnaise sandwich! First, we put some bread in the -- [Fanboy has the toaster in his mouth] No, no-no-no-no! Food goes in your mouth.
[Fanboy spits the toaster at Chum Chum]
Fanboy: Righty-o! Food goes in mouth. [presses buck teeth forward opening head flap and flips the bread into it and burps]
Chum Chum: Good...

[Cut to a close up of Fanboy's brain under the couch. Zoom out to reveal Chum Chum playing Checkers]
Chum Chum: [nervously] Iiiit's your mooove!
[Fanboy stomps by in the background, wearing a soup pot on his head and banging pans]
Fanboy (variously): I'm a little teapot! Shout, shout, shout! This is my spout! [splits into three] This is my spout! [flutters away]
Chum Chum: Okay! [giggling] I'll just move your piece for you. [angry] AGAIN!
[Yo materializes on top of Chum Chum's head]
Yo: Oh, heeeeey, Chum Chum! Checkers, huh? Fun! [tiptoes away] You know, I -- [grabs him and runs for the door] Gotcha! Whoo! [turns around]
Fanboy: [offscreen] I, a-hit, my head. [talks weirdly]
Yo: Uh, what's with Fanboy? Isn't he gonna try and stop me or anything?
Chum Chum: [chuckles nervously, talking loudly] He lost his brain, [Fanboy slides by in the foreground], so I replaced it with a sponge, [Fanboy comes through the door acting like a firetruck] to soak up how to be him again! Ha ha ha! [Fanboy slides down a post] Luckily, everything's back to normal! Heh. Heh. Heh.
[Fanboy peeks out over Chum Chum's shoulder]
Fanboy: Hiya, Chirp Chirp! [presses Chum Chum's nose and makes a buzzer noise]
Chum Chum: Chum Chum.
Fanboy: [at Yo] Hiya, thing I don't know!
Chum Chum: This is Yo! [Fanboy foot scratches like a dog again] You know her! At least you used to.
Fanboy: Yo...I feel like there's something I'm supposed to remember about you. [presses himself against her and looks up and down] Hey, want to see how Chirp Chirp taught me my time tables? [spins on the floor giggling, then crashes into a wall]
Chum Chum: No, no, no, NO! Not our corn chip castle! [runs off]
[Fanboy munches something off camera]
Yo: Fanboy lost his brain? I didn't even know he had one to lose. [steps on something, looks under the couch to see Fanboy's brain and picks it up. Reads the tag on it] "Property of Fanboy". [gasps] Wait a minute... [grins, puts Fanboy's brain in her backpack]
Chum Chum: [enters, tired] I put him down for a nap. [sits on couch, Yo closes her backpack] Did you need something, Yo?
Yo: Uh, just to say how bad I feel for you. [sits on the couch] Without his brain, Fanboy barely knows who you are! [hugs him] You must feel so lost, and hurt, and alone! [puts a sailor hat on his head] So alone!!!
Chum Chum: [laughs nervously] Uh, not really. Um, [takes off sailor hat] maybe a little.
Yo: Just feel how tense you are. [struggles to stop him from leaving]
Chum Chum: I should go make sure he's not mad at the alarm clock again.

[Cut to Fanboy in the bedroom]
Fanboy: [angry] Oh, look at me! I can tell time! [smashes alarm clock with mallet] Big whoop!

[Back on the couch]
Yo: Maybe I can help you with Fanboy! [gasps] In fact, I can move in here tonight!
Chum Chum: You? Move into the Fanlair?
Yo: Well, that way I'll be close by so I can dress you, and brush your hair, and dip you in chocolate -- [pauses and quickly rephrases what she was saying] I mean...I can be here to help you. With him.
Chum Chum: Hmm, maybe, Yo. [gets off the couch] Uh, be right back, I gotta boil some hot dogs. Fanboy likes a steamy mug of hot dog water when he wakes up from his naps. [exits]
Yo: [giggles] He's almost mine. [lies down and giggles some more]

[Cut to the bedroom]
Fanboy: [nibbles on a pillow then notices a picture on the nighttable, falls off the bed] Hey, it's me and Chirp Chirp. [his eyes are apart] No. [refocuses eyes and thinks] No, not Chirp Chirp... [the sponge in his head sparks] Chum Chum! [rips off a stickynote on photo revealing Yo] And that Yo thing always tries to take Chum Chum!

[Cut to Yo playing with Scampers on the couch. Close up of her as Fanboy's shadow looms her]
Fanboy: I know what you're trying to do.
Yo: Huh?
Fanboy: You're trying to get close to Chum Chum so you can take him!
Yo: Mmm... [holds up a ball of yarn] Look! a ball of Yarn! [tosses yarn]
Fanboy: [clapping] Ooh! Yarn! [crawls over to it] La la la la la [hops on it] I'm a cat! Ruff! Ruff!
[Yo sneaks up on Fanboy and opens his head flap, takes out the sponge, rings out some of its water, spins and puts it back. A shut down sound is heard as Fanboy appears to relax himself]
Chum Chum: [enters holding a soup pot] Here's your hot dog water, Fanboy. And I let it sit, so it has a nice skin across the top.
Fanboy: [leans back] NARWHAL!
Chum Chum: Fanboy, it's me, chirp chirp!
Fanboy: [feels Chum Chum's face] NARWHAAAAAAL!
Chum Chum: [tosses pot away, breaking down] HE'S GETTING WORSE! I FAILED, YO! I COULDN'T MAKE HIM BETTER! AND NOW, HE'S GONE! FOREVER! [sobbing]
Yo: Aww. [pushes Fanboy aside] It's okay. We'll come back later and build him a nice cage, so we can take care of him together. But for now, I think you'll feel better if you come home with me and sit on my doll shelf, in a sailor suit.
Chum Chum: [sighs] Maybe you're right. [notices her backpack is leaking and points to it] Eh, Yo, something in your backpack is leaking.
Yo: [stops, her eyelashes fall off] No! Don't!
Chum Chum: [opens her backpack and gasps, takes Fanboy's brain out] You took Fanboy's brain!
Yo: Uh, no, I didn't! I found it under the love seat. [takes brain back]
Chum Chum: That old excuse? Give me that brain!
[they begin to wrestle, during this, Fanboy walks by in the background]
Fanboy: La la la la la [walks to the table] Yeah, I'm gonna have a sandwich. [gets some bread and puts a wrench on one slice]
Chum Chum: [in the background] Give me that brain, Yo!
[the brain slips out of their hands and lands on Fanboy's sandwich]
Fanboy: [closes sandwich] Mmm. Even better.
[Chum Chum struggles to get to Fanboy, but Yo stops him]
Fanboy: [opens mouth to eat] Ahhhhhhh...
Chum Chum: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Fanboy: ...Ahhhhhhhhh...hmm? [stops] Oh, food goes in mouth. [presses buck teeth, opening head flap, and tosses sandwich inside]

[Scene shifts to the inside of Fanboy's head, Fanboy's brain buckles up and starts to work at a control center. Fanboy's eyes spin in their sockets as a power up sound plays, and a "ding" sound is heard as he returns to his old self. Fanboy turns to look at Yo]
Chum Chum: FANBOY!
Fanboy: [angry] Yo! Get your hands off my Chum Chum!
[Fanboy's brain pushes a lever and Fanboy spits out the sponge. The brain then presses a button making Fanboy throw it and, in slow motion, it hits Yo, stunning her. Fanboy runs up to her, very mad]
Fanboy: Grrrr...YO!!!
Yo: [giggles crazy] Bye! [de-materializes]
Chum Chum: Fanboy, you remember me!
Fanboy: How could I forget you, Chummerson, old bean? You're my best friend.
[They hug, but Fanboy squeezes Chum Chum so hard that he spits his brain out. Chum Chum's eyes roll]
Chum Chum: AHHHHH! [trots away] NARWHAL! NARWHAL!
Fanboy: Don't worry, Chum Chum, I won't let you deal with this alone! [presses buck teeth, releasing brain] Duh da da da duh! [trots offscreen]
Fanboy/Chum Chum: NARWHAL! [they hit their heads] NARWHAL!
[Iris out on their brains]

Previous:
"Monster in the Mist"
Transcripts Next:
"Fanboyfriend"

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