Return to "Berry Sick".

[Scene opens up with the Fanlair in view. It is hot, notice that the background is rippling. Inside, F&C can't resist the heat]
Fanboy: Uhh, so hot! I can't take another day of this heat!
Chum Chum: Tell me about it. It's so hot, my mask is running. [sits up to reveal his mask running like mascara]
Fanboy: Chum Chum, the situation is dire! I think we need to go to fail-safe!
Chum Chum: You mean?
Fanboy: Yes; Emergency Plan Alpha.

[Adventure music plays as Fanboy opens a pizza box and turns the pizza slice so it points upward. It glows green as the TV turns on]
Television voice: Confirm identification, please.
[F&C line up and make faces at the TV]
Television voice: Faceprint rejected.
[F&C turn around]
Television voice: Faceprint match. Welcome.

[Cut to a fog. A door opens revealing F&C's silhouettes in the light. Slowly the light comes up on them]
Fanboy: Nothing like a secret vault to keep your emergency Fr-osty Fr-eezy Freezes safe.
Chum Chum: Mm-hmm!
[Fanboy turns on the light and we see a close up of a Frosty Freezy Freeze. We spin around it as we pan upward. Suddenly, there is slurping as the freeze goes down. Pull out to show a seagull drinking the freeze. It burps]
Fanboy and Chum Chum: Ahh!
Fanboy: [chases the seagull out] Shoo, shoo!
Chum Chum: Dirty bird!
Fanboy: You...opened...the window on our secret vault?
Chum Chum: It was hot.
Fanboy: Chum Chum, we got to get something to cool us down! I'm afraid we're gonna have to go... [ominously] OUTSIDE.

[Cut to F&C grunting as they crawl over a sand hill]
Chum Chum: [weak] I...can't...take...much...more of...this.
Fanboy: Yeah. [pull out to show them in a sandbox] Maybe this shortcut through the sandbox wasn't a good idea.
[Dissolve to them hopping across the street to the Frosty Mart]
Fanboy and Chum Chum: Ooh! Ah! Oh! Ooh! Ooh!/Feet are hot!/Ow!/Oh, hot, hot!/Ooh!/Hot, hot!/Ow, ooh, ooh, oh, oh, oh!

[Cut to Lenny sleeping with a fan blowing on him]
Lenny: [snoring, hits fan] Ah! [Sees F&C] Oh, no.
Fanboy: [faint gasp] The Frosty Mart. We made it.
[The door slams on them and they slide to the counter]
Lenny: It's just a mirage. go away!
Fanboy and Chum Chum: [weak]
Lenny: Is there something you want?
[F&C cough up some sand and sculpt it into a Frosty Freezy Freeze]
Lenny: If you're asking for a Frosty Freezy Freeze, don't bother. The machine dried up.
[Pan over to the Frosty Freezy Freeze Machine, no freeze in it]
Fanboy and Chum Chum: [raspy] Dried up?
Lenny: Yeah, didn't you see all the people waiting outside?
[F&C look over and see zombie-like customers at the door]
Zombie Customers: Froooostyyy Freeeezyyyy Freeeeze.
Hank: I just came for a cup of coffee.
Lenny: They've been like that all day.

[F&C rush to the machine]
Fanboy: [presses the lever of the Blue-Tonium] Please? There's got to be some left! Come on. come on!
[Only a drop of Berry Pink falls out]
Fanboy and Chum Chum: [gasp]
Fanboy: It doesn't wor-r-rk. We're doomed, doomed, doomed, I say! [At Chum Chum] Chum Chum, what do you say?
[Chum Chum smiles and picks Fanboy up like a rod]
Chum Chum: [banging Fanboy] GIMMIE! GIMMIE! GIMMIE! GIMMIE! GIMMIE! [repeatedly bangs Fanboy on the machine]
Fanboy: Uh! Ooh! Ee! Eh! Uh! Ee! Uh! Ee!

[Suddenly, the compartment above the spout opens to reveal a pink ice monster, Berry]
Fanboy and Chum Chum: [gasp]
Fanboy: It's a Frosty Freezy Freeze ice monster!
Chum Chum: Yeah! But an itty-bitty one!
Berry: [weak] Oh. You want Frosty Freezy Freeze? [coughs] Berry will take care of you. Coming right uuuuuup. [falls, F&C catch him]
Chum Chum: So, you make the Frosty Freezy Freeze?
Berry: Well, I did, but this heat wave's made me dry as a bone. [wheezes] See? My frosty breath's all tapped out. Oh, man, I don't feel so good.
Chum Chum: Fanboy, we've got to do something! Look how sick he is!
Fanboy: You're right; we've got to rescue him.
Chum Chum: Wait a minute. How are we gonna get him past Lenny?
Fanboy: Hmm.

[Fanboy opens the door revealing the zombie customers]
Zombie Customers: [groaning]
Lenny: Huh? What?
Zombie Customers: Frrrosty Frrrezy Frrreze! [proceed to seize Lenny]
Lenny: No, no, no, no, no! Not the brain! AHHH!
[F&C sneak out with Berry in a cooler]

[F&C burst back into the Fanlair]
Fanboy: We got a Code Pink here, people!
Berry: Hot, so very hot.
Fanboy: Don't you leave us, buddy! [slams Berry onto Chum Chum's bed and puts a tin can on his head, like a stethoscope] I need ten CCs of high fructose corn syrup...STAT! Nurse, where's that crash cart?
Chum Chum: Right here, doctor. [crashes his bead with the cooler] Crash, crash, crash!
Fanboy: Thank you.
Berry: Artificial flavoring. Artificial flavoring.
[Fanboy pushes out an eyedropper through his left ear and squirts the freeze inside it into Berry's mouth. This causes Berry to faint and a small pink meter on his left eye to go down]
Chum Chum: Fanboy, we're losing him!
Fanboy: Not on my watch. What's his temperature?
Chum Chum: [puts his finger in Berry's mouth] 5 Degrees. He's burning up! He's lost a lot of fluid, doctor.
[We see Berry's pink freeze oozing from him]
Fanboy: All right, start him on a strawberry -- whoa. He sure has.
Chum Chum: Is that what I think it is? [Scoops up some freeze with his finger and tastes it] I think it's Frosty Freezy Freeze!
Fanboy: I think we need a second opinion. [Scoops up some freeze with his finger and tastes it]
[F&C look at Berry with sneaky looks on their faces]

[A montage starts]
Berry: [groans]
Chum Chum: Shh.
[Chum Chum drips some freeze from Berry's brow into Fanboy's mouth, then his own]

Berry: Losing...sugary...goodness. Oh, ew.
[Some of his freeze sweat drips into a pail. Chum Chum takes it and, behind a curtain, he and Fanboy clink cups and drink Berry's freeze]

[Berry is drinking his medicine, but his freeze is also going up through straws into F&C's mouthes]
Fanboy: [stops slurping] Ah. Who knew medicine could be so rewarding? [slurps]
[end of montage]

[Extreme close up of Berry, who wakes up]
Berry: [groans] Man, I must have been really sick. I had a fever dream I was being licked all over.
Fanboy: [peeks from the couch with a straw in his mouth] Hmm? Mmm...hehe. [takes straw out of mouth and gasps] Uh, mm-hmm. Yes, well, that's normal.
Chum Chum: [peeks up with a pink freezed face] Yup, the licking dream, we see it all the time.
Fanboy: Hehe. [pushes Chum Chum back down]
Berry: Thank you, boys. I owe you a solid!
Chum Chum: How about a liquid?
[Fanboy grabs his leg]
Berry: Well, this monster better get his butt back to the frosty mart, or I'll be out of a J-O-B. You feel me? [starts to leave, but F&C won't let him]
Chum Chum: No!
Fanboy: You can't leave!
Berry: Oh, you boys have done more than enough. Next time you're down at the Frosty Mart, you ask for Berry, and I'll hook you up.
Chum Chum: But we want to keep you all to ourselves. [sticks out his tongue and grabs him]
Berry: What?
Fanboy: [tries to unravel the tongue] Eh-heh, eh-heh. Uh, he means "keep you...for observation". You could have a relapse. Maybe you should stay for more tests.
Berry: Why? I feel fine. I got my color back. I mean, come on; look how pink these cheeks are.
[F&C look at each other alarmed]
Fanboy: Okay, but,'s the thing. Uh, we found something, on your x-rays. I...think you better sit down.

[Fanboy goes over to a picture of Berry on the wall]
Fanboy: At first glance, everything looks normal. Nice icicle growth, strong crystal structure. But you see this mark that looks like a fingerprint smudge?
Berry: What is it, doc?
Fanboy: That's...just it, it could be nothing. Then again, it could be...SOMETHING.
Chum Chum: [gasps] Not "something"!
Berry: Something runs in my family. We all got something.
Fanboy: I'm afraid we're gonna have to keep you here for more treatments.
[Chum Chum licks Berry]
Berry: How long?
Chum Chum: Uh, just for a few more cups. I mean drinks. I mean gulps. I mean slurps. I mean those things you can drink frosty freezy freeze drink -- uh, days! Yeah, that's it.
Fanboy: Nice cover.

[Extreme close up of Fanboy's buck teeth nibbling on the couch]
Fanboy: Come on! Come on! What is taking so long? [At Berry] How you doing in there, Berry?
Berry: [comes out carrying a jar on a tray] I don't know why y'all need another specimen. I mean, what happened to the five others I gave you?
Fanboy: [takes the jar] Mix-up at the lab!
[F&C head for Fanboy's closet to hide]
Chum Chum: You know: health care, congress, pork barrels! Uggggh! [laughs]
[The closet door closes. Inside, the jar lights up the dark, because there's Frosty Freezy Freeze inside it]
Fanboy: That's the stuff.

[Another montage starts. We see several extreme close ups of what happens to F&C as they enjoy the freeze. It begins with Fanboy putting a straw in the jar and slurping, turning his eyes pink. Chum Chum also slurps it and gets Freezy Light Vision. Fanboy gets a brain freeze and Chum Chum's teeth turn pink. Fanboy slurps constantly, making him full. Chum Chum's teeth turn pink once more. Fanboy puts another straw in the jar, slurps, and gets another brain freeze while giggling. The screen goes black, then fade up as Chum Chum burps, followed by Fanboy. Fanboy slurps once more making him full again. F&C burp in each other's faces. Fanboy slurps constantly and burps from the couch. Chum Chum burps, followed by Fanboy making him burp. Fanboy slurps yet again, getting another brain freeze. Chum Chum burps Fanboy out, who also burps. Fanboy burps from the couch again. F&C then burp in unison constantly at the camera in a Picasso theory. The montage ends with F&C floating on the freeze in a cup like they're in a pool and drinking calmly.]

[F&C are snoring when Berry comes in]
Berry: Hey, Dr. Fanboy! I finished that strawberry infusion. What kind of drip you want me on next? [notices them snoring] Oh, those docs work around the clock for me. They deserve a rest. I'll just check my chart here and see what's prescribed. [Takes Fanboy's notebook and notices a picture of F&C slurping him] That's strange. It's just a drawing of me. [pause] Wait a minute! All these pages are drawings of me. [horrible music plays as he flips through the pictures until the last one shows him completely empty] Those boys lied to me! I'm not sick at all! [Straws go into his head. He looks up and sees F&C slurping him] Ahh! [leans against the door] All this time...keeping me here...making me think I was sick?! [F&C start to approach him evily] But you're the sick ones! You've got the Frosty Freezy Freeze Fever!
Chum Chum: Don't be scared, Berry.
Fanboy: Yeah, we're your friends.
Chum Chum: We just want to eat you. [chomps]
Berry: You're out of your freezy-sucking minds!
Fanboy and Chum Chum: [snickering]
Berry: [chattering] Come on, guys. [chattering] Don't do Berry like this! No. No, no, no, no. NOOOOOOO!!! [On the last word, he releases snow and ice from his breath] Hey. I got my freezy breath back! [pull out to show F&C frozen] Thanks, docs! I owe ya! [opens door] But don't send a bill. Frosty Mart doesn't give berry health coverage. You know what I'm saying? [laughs] See ya! [leaves and closes door]

Fanboy: Well, at least we're out of the heat.
Chum Chum: [slurps around his mouth] And we taste delicious.
[F&C slup around their mouthes. Suddenly, the door falls down and the zombie customers walk in. Notice Lenny is now one of them due to earlier]
Zombie Customers: Frosty Freezy Freeeeze! Frosty Freezy Freeeeze!
Fanboy: Uh-oh.
[The zombie customers march toward F&C and lick them all over]
Fanboy: Ah! Not the braaaain!
Hank: I just came for a cup of coffee.

"I, Fanbot"
Transcripts Next:
"Chimp Chomp Chumps"

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