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Back From The Future/Transcript

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Return to "Back From The Future".

[Scene opens up with the title card song, then a diagonal view of the Frosty Mart early in the morning. Lenny is cleaning the doors of the freezers and singing]

Lenny: It's not clean to perfection unless you see your reflection!

[He wipes a door and smiles at his reflection, rubbing the glass a little. Suddenly, a light goes on, causing Lenny to scream and hit the ground. Dollarnator hobbles out as Lenny crawls away from him, like in Dollar Day when Fanboy first meets Dollarnator]

Dollarnator: I think your milk has expired. [shows a milk carton]
[F&C tumble out of Dollarnator's butt flap, wearing futuristic shades]
Fanboy: [gasping] It worked, it worked!
Lenny: What are you doing?
Fanboy: The question is: When are we doing? For we come to you from... [whispers] the future.
Chum Chum: THE FUTURE!!!
Lenny: What are you nincompoops talking about?
Chum Chum: Dollarnator! He's not just a hot dog warmer and a video game and a lie detector and a tip calculator, he's also - a time machine!
Dollarnator: And I DJ on the weekend. [singing] Hey-y! [As he says this, he shows a poster of him DJ-ing]
Lenny: [swats the poster away] That's impossible. There's no such thing as time travel.
Fanboy: It's true, Lenny! We'll prove it to ya.

[Hank walks by scratching a lottery ticket]
Fanboy: Mr. Mufflin, you're about to win the lottery.
[Hank gasps as he discovers his ticket has all dollar signs]
Hank: I won! I won! I can finally afford a neck implant! Woo! No more painted arm scarves!
Chum Chum: Yeah. But that seagull is about to take your winning ticket.
[The seagull does so]
Hank: [dejected] Oh, where do you keep your scarf paint?
Chum Chum: THE FUTURE!!!

[On Boog, playing the Invaders game]
Fanboy: Boog! You're about to get the high score on this game.
Boog: What else is new? Tell me something I don't know.
Chum Chum: Okay, that cheese and flounder burrito you had for lunch is gonna catch up with you in t-minus 3...2...
[Boog's stomach growls]
Boog: They were riiight!!! [heads to the bathroom]
Lenny: But - how did you know?
Chum Chum: THE FUTURE!!!
Lenny: Wha - ?
Fanboy: Freezy Freeze?
Chum Chum: If you please.
[They get their freeze]

Lenny: Not fair! They get to travel through time, and I can't even get time off to travel. [gets sprayed with freeze and groans] Look at that mess! I wish they never discovered that stupid drink. [pause] Wait a minute. [sees Dollarnator] That's it! All I have to do is use that tip calculator to go back in time and keep them from ever tasting Frosty Freezy Freeze. Then, they'll never have any reason to come into this store - ever! Ha ha!
Dollarnator: Yah, I've been hitting the gym, you know, doing some circuit training. [Lenny jumps onto him] Ah! What are you doing?
Lenny: [pushing his buttons] How do you work this thing? [The butt flap opens] Oh, yeah. [goes inside while Dollarnator mumbles] Frosty Mart: 5 years ago. STAT!
[They start to disappear]
Dollarnator: [holding his DJ poster] Saturday night, the Space Bar, at the DJ Dolla'! I'll put you on the liiiiist!
[They disappear. F&C come into the picture]
Invaders game: Player 1: Begin.
Fanboy: Ooh! Free game!

[In the time stream...]
Dollarnator: Waaahhh! I don't think it's a good idea to hurdle through time! It only produces time paradoxes and butterfly effects, and things with that nature!
Lenny: Less talk, more hurdling!

[5 years earlier]
[Young Lenny is washing the glass doors and singing the song from earlier]
Young Lenny: It's not clean to perfection unless you see your reflection! My first day of work, and I've already made a song!
[A light flashes inside one of the doors and it opens slamming into Young Lenny. Dollarnator steps out and dumps Present Lenny out of the butt flap.]
Young Lenny: Ooh, a customer.
Lenny: I don't have time to explain!
Young Lenny: Huh?
Lenny: I'm you, you me, me you, from the future! In 1 minute, 2 very annoying boys are gonna enter this store. [as he says this, he shows a picture of F&C trashing Lenny's hair] Do not, under any circumstance, give them a Frosty Freezy Freeze!
Young Lenny: Oh, but I can't do that, because --
Lenny: [takes back the picture and shows his "Asst. Manager" tag] Do it, and you become Assistant Manager.
Young Lenny: [gasps and salutes] I'll make sure no one gets a Frosty Freezy Freeze!
[He leaves. The door alarm sounds]
Lenny: Uh-oh.

[On the door, baby F&C walk in]
Baby Chum Chum: Wow-wee! What is this place?
Baby Fanboy: Now, now, young Chum Chum! We're only here to ask directions to the library so we can discover the Wonderful World of Reading. [puts on some librarian glasses]
[Young Lenny is trying to pull the Frosty Freezy Freeze machine apart]
Baby Fanboy and Chum Chum: Excuse me?
[Young Lenny pulls the spouts off, but this releases the Freeze]
Lenny: Noooooo!
Baby Fanboy and Chum Chum: Could you direct us to the libra -
[The freeze fills up little F&C's mouths. They swallow it and burp. They like it]
Baby Fanboy and Chum Chum: More! More! More! More! More! More! More! More! [continues]
[They whirl around Young Lenny's head, who screams]
Lenny: Grr!

Dollarnator: Sorry, somewhere in the future, you need a guy who looks like me, and it gives you a silly pick-up line, go easy on him. [Lenny squeezes into his butt flap] Hey! Little warning next time!
Lenny: We gotta do this again!
[They disappear]

[Back in the time stream...]
Lenny: Can't you go any faster?
Dollarnator: I'm going at the speed of light!

[5 years earlier, again]
Young Lenny: It's not clean to perfection -- [gets knocked out by Dollarnator]
Dollarnator: Oops, my bad.
Lenny: Eh, I survive.
Boog: [emerges from the closet] Hey, boss! I finished alphabetizing the burittos. They cross index by expiration date. [Sees Present Lenny carrying Young Lenny] Whoa! You need help moving that body?
Lenny: [drops Young Lenny] Oh, Boog! I forgot I hired you on my first day. Listen, I have a job for you. [shows the photo from earlier] When these boys come in, you're gonna bop em' so hard, they never come back. [giggles]
Boog: [salutes] With pleasure, boss. I live to bop customers. [walks away]
Lenny: Yes! I knew I could count on good ol' young Boog. [hears the door alarm] Uh-oh.

[At the door, baby F&C have the conversation from before]
Baby Fanboy: Now, now, young Chum Chum! We're only here to ask directions to the library so we can discover the Wonderful World of Reading. [puts on some librarian glasses]
Baby Fanboy and Chum Chum: [to Boog] Excuse me, could you direct us to the library?
Boog: Can I interest you in a bop instead!?
[the boys hug each other in fear. Boog "bops" up a small rack of tiny Frosty Freezy Freezes]
Baby Fanboy and Chum Chum: Ooh! What are those?
Boog: An array of our tastiest beverages. Yours to sample and enjoy. No purchase necessary!
[They each take one]
Baby Chum Chum: What do these letters on the cup say?
Baby Fanboy: Who cares? I love this drink and I don't love letters! [they leave]

Lenny: No! What are you doing!? I said to bop them! Bop them!!
Boog: Yeah! B.O.P. - Bring Out Products! Ha ha. [To young Lenny, who's dizzy] Right, Mr. Flynn-Boyle?
Young Lenny: Just like I trained you. Hahaha.
[There is a glow in the bottom left. Baby F&C like their drinks]
Baby Fanboy and Chum Chum: More! More! More! More! More! More! More! More! [continues]
[They whirl around Young Lenny's head, who screams]
Boog: Why? Does the word "bop" have another meaning?
Lenny: Oh!!!
[He travels time yet again]

[5 years earlier, again...again]
[This time, they appear outside the mart. Lenny goes to the door and hammers boards to it to lock it]
Lenny: Can't get a Frosty Freezy Freeze if you can't get through the door! [laughs]
[Baby F&C walk by]
Baby Fanboy: Now, now, young Chum Chum! We're only here to ask directions to the librar - [sees Present Lenny] Hey, mister! What'cha building?
Lenny: Can't talk. Busy.
[Baby F&C turn to Dollarnator]
Baby Chum Chum: [chuckles] What a funny mailbox!
[They jump into Dollarnator's butt flap and he disappears with them]
Lenny: Still doesn't look strong enough. Dollarnator, you're also a cement mixer, right? [turns and sees he disappeared] Dollarnator?
[Dollarnator reappears and baby F&C fall out of the butt flap drinking Frosty Freezy Freeze]
Baby Fanboy: Flavors, sugar, freezing, ohhh! This new drink is amazing! And you're telling me we have it in the past, too?
[Present F&C pop out of the butt flap]
Fanboy: You sure do! Just tell our boy Lenny we sent ya. He'll hook you up!
Lenny: Wah - ?
[Just as baby F&C open the door, they like their drinks]
Baby Fanboy and Chum Chum: More! More! More! More! More! More! More! More! [continues]
[They whirl around Young Lenny's head, who screams]

[The door closes. Lenny puts his hand on his head]
Lenny: Urrrrgh!
Fanboy: Hiya, Lenny.
Lenny: Get in!
[He kicks them in through the butt flap and jumps in himself. Dollarnator disappears]

[Back in the time stream...]
Lenny: Get out!
[He kicks them out of the butt flap and they fly through the time stream]
Fanboy: Thanks for the ride! We'll walk from here!
Chum Chum: [holds a time travel map] Hey! You wanna go back in time and feed a dinosaur?
Fanboy: Okay! But then, I wanna go to the future and see how the world ends.
[They float away]
Lenny: I'm gonna end this - once and for all!

[5 years earlier, again, again...again]
[They appear inside]
Baby Fanboy: Now, now, young Chum Chum! We're only here to ask directions to the library...
[They enter the mart]
Baby Fanboy and Chum Chum: Excuse me, could you direct us to the --
Lenny: [acting nice] Hello, come in! Come in. Right this way. Aren't you boys thirsty?
Baby Chum Chum: Now that you mention it, we were eating a lot of sand.
[Baby Fanboy spits sand out of his mouth. They walk past a tied up Young Lenny and Boog]
Lenny: I have just the drink to quench your thirst.
[They see the Frosty Freeze Machine. They just got their Frosty Freezy Freezes]
Baby Fanboy: Uhh, I don't know. Shouldn't we quench our thirst for knowledge first?
Lenny: Don't worry about that. I'll teach you a lesson you never forget.

[Baby F&C take a sip from the freeze. They like it]
Baby Fanboy and Chum Chum: [singing] It's the best thing we've ever had!
Baby Chum Chum: It's like an angel swallowed a rainbow, and threw it up in this cup.
[They continue to drink the freeze]
Lenny: Oh, I'm so glad you like it. [Then, evil] BECAUSE IT'S THE LAST ONE YOU'LL EVER HAVE! [holds up a club]
Baby Fanboy and Chum Chum: AAAAHHHH!!!
[Lenny starts smashing the machine as baby F&C look on in horror]
Lenny: HAHAHAHAHA! Swag! Frosty Freezy Freeze are no more! [laughs]
Baby Fanboy and Chum Chum: AAAAHHHH!!!
Lenny: [cackles]
[The machine explodes, baby F&C are shocked, but then suddenly become upset and hold a funeral for the machine]
Baby Fanboy: Our world, was destroyed, as soon as it was created!
[They cry. Dollarnator stomps in, angry]
Dollarnator: You monster! I went to Grammer School with that machine-ine-ine!
Lenny: Oh, boo-hoo, open your butt flap. I'm going back to the future.
[And so, he does. Lenny cackles as he travels]

[Present Day]
[Lenny walks into the scene. The lights in the mart are off and no one else is present]
Lenny: It's so...nice and quiet. [sees something in place of the machine] The machine. It's still gone! And it's been replaced by a soothing zen fountain. [Looks at the photo from earlier] The boys. [The image changes to Lenny hopping in a peaceful field] They're really gone from my life forever. Dollarnator, hit the bricks. I'm staying here in the future.
Dollarnator: It's actually an alternative prison, but hasta la vista, baby. [disappears]

[Suddenly, a future F&C appear. They are wearing large, yellow capes and have giant drinking helmets on their heads. The helmets are filled with Frosty Freezy Freeze. The future F&C also speak robotically]
Future Fanboy and Chum Chum: Beep, bloop, bloop, beep. [They turn around and stare at Lenny]
Lenny: Ahh!
Future Fanboy: Welcome, Mr. Leonard Flynn-Boyle.
Future Chum Chum: We've been expecting you.
Lenny: Wha - ? But...how did you -
Future Chum Chum: [scans Lenny with his drinking helmet] The twitchy one knows not our history.
Future Fanboy: Five years ago, when the Frosty Freezy Freeze was destroyed, we were forced to re-create it.
Future Fanboy and Chum Chum: In our minds! [sip] Excelsior!
Lenny: This is crazy!
Future Fanboy: You, who used to serve us, we now serve you.
Future Chum Chum: And sing you our never ending song of praise.

[They clear their throats, then...]
Future Fanboy and Chum Chum: More! More! More! More! More! More! More! More! [continues]
Lenny: No! No! [Future Fanboy gives him a drinking helmet] NOOOO!
[As they continue, they put the spouts of their helmets into Lenny's mouth. He drinks the freeze. He likes it]
Lenny: Hey, that's not half-bad.
[He joins in their singing]
All: More! More! More! More! More! More! More! More! [continues]

[Iris out, the episode is over.]

Previous:
"Schoolhouse Lock"
Transcripts Next:
"Tooth or Scare"

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