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Return to "Attack of the Clones".

[Scene opens up with the school in view]
Hank: And I expect you all to behave for Nurse Lady Pam on your field trip to the Wicked Den of Evil known as the Thermometer Factory.
Fanboy/Chum Chum: [giggling] Thermometer Factory!
[The bell rings, the kids run out]
Chum Chum: Yay!
[Hank pulls Fanboy back]
Hank: [muttering] Not you, Purple Kid! You're on detention for not doing your science project!
Fanboy: But I did do my science project, Mr. Mufflin! [shows some mustard on his hand] Behold: A civilization of microscopic people in the palm of my hand! [Hank tastes the mustard] Huh?
Hank: That's just dry mustard from lunch! Say good-bye to the Raccoon and then SIT DOWN! [growls, leaves]

Fanboy: Wait, how come Chum Chum gets to go?
Chum Chum: I did my science project! [presents his project] It was this cloning ray.
Cloning ray
Chum Chum: [holds up a hot dog and aims the cloning ray at it] Behold: One hot dog becomes two hot dogs!
[Chum Chum zaps the hot dog. It duplicates, and he eats both hot dogs]
Fanboy: Whoooooa. That was amazing! I know...you can make a clone of me to stay in "detent-ion", and then, I can go on the field trip with you!
Chum Chum: That sounds like a great idea! [at the camera] With no consequences whatsoever.
[Fanboy changes his stance]
Chum Chum: Here it goes!
[Chum Chum zaps Fanboy with the ray. He duplicates]
Fanboy: It worked! Right down to my dancer's legs.
Fanboy and Chum Chum: Thermometer Factory!
[They start to leave]
Fanboy 2: [sadly] Mmmmm.
Fanboy: Aw, but who will keep him company?
Chum Chum: [pause] Idea!
[Chum Chum zaps himself with the ray and he duplicates]
Chum Chum/Chum Chum 2: Hiya.
Fanboy: Perfect! Now, Cloneboy and Chum Clone, we are going on a field trip. You two are gonna stay here in detention, and whatever you do, do not leave under any circumstances. Got it?
Cloneboy: Got it!
Chum Clone: You can count on us!
Chum Chum: And hang on to this cloning ray for us. [tosses them the cloning ray] We don't wanna lose it.
Fanboy/Chum Chum: Thanks! Bye!
Chum Chum: [menacingly] And remember...whatever you do, do not make clones of yourselves. Clones of clones are unstable. BEWARE!
Fanboy: [offscreen] Hurry up, Chum Chum!
Chum Chum: Thermometer Factory!

[Cloneboy and Chum Clone sit down at desks]
Cloneboy: [inhales] Mmm, sure is good to be alive, isn't it?
Chum Clone: Yeah. We've got feet, we've got hands, what else could we need?
Cloneboy: Yup, this is the life. [pause] I'M SO BORED!
Chum Clone: Me, too! We gotta get out of this joint!
Cloneboy: [notices the cloning ray] Huh? What was it that the real you said about making clones of clones?
Chum Clone: I don't know, something about a Thermometer Factory?
Cloneboy: Oh, right. Let's do it!
Cloneboy/Chum Clone: Cheese!
[They zap themselves, and they duplicate. The clones look gross and weird, like hillbillies]
Fanboy 3/Chum Chum 3: Hi.
Cloneboy: Hey, fellas, so here's the deal: We're gonna head out and see the sights. You're gonna cool your heels in detention here, and under no circumstances are you to leave. Got it?
Fanboy 3: Gooooot it!
Chum Chum 3: You can count on us!
[Pause, Chum Chum 3's left eye rolls back in his head] Cloneboy/Chum Clone: Thanks! Bye!
Chum Clone: [menacingly] And remember...THERMOMETER FACTORY!
Cloneboy: [offscreen] Come on, Chum Clone!
Chum Clone: Beware!

[Outside...]
Cloneboy: So, what do you wanna do first, Chum Clone?
Chum Clone: [inhales] Ah.
[their stomachs growl and they are dragged to the Frosty Mart]
Cloneboy: For some reason, I'm drawn to this convenience store.
[the doors open]
Cloneboy: And I'm craving a sweet and cold beverage.
[they bump into Lenny wearing a sign]
Lenny: Well, today's your lucky day. For one day only, we're giving out free Frosty Freezy Freezes.
[they glance at the machine and are dragged to it]
Cloneboy: Frosty...Freezy...Freezes? [picks up a cup] Is this...a Frosty Freezy Freeze?
Chum Clone: [sees Berry Pink freeze drip out] I think that's a Frosty Freezy Freeze.

[Cloneboy and Chum Clone fill their cups with Berry Pink freeze. We see an extreme close up of the inside of Cloneboy's mouth as he dunks the freeze down his throat. They gulp, then release freezy breath, and they chatter while they get brain freeze. This leads them to reenact the "Brain Freeze" sequence from the theme song]

Cloneboy: That...was...AMAZIIIIING-A!!!
Chum Clone: I WANT ANOTHER! I WANT ANOTHER!
[They slide under the spouts, but Lenny takes them out]
Lenny: Not so fast! There's a limit: One per customer! [drops them] Read the fine print! Have a nice day!
Cloneboy: Hmm...one per customer, huh?

[Later...]
Fanboy 4: Hey, Lenny!
Lenny: Mm-hmm.
Fanboy 5: HEY, LENNY!
Lenny: Yep.
Fanboy 6: Hey, Lenny!
Lenny: Whatever.
Fanboy 7: Lenny, hello!
Lenny: Wait, wha -- ?
[There is a line of Fanboys and Chum Chums getting Frosty Freezy Freeze, due to the effect of the cloning ray]
Lenny: I don't know how you two are doing this, but it's still one Frosty per customer, no matter how many of you there are!
Chum Clone: Oh, uh -- that's not us.
Cloneboy: Those are our cousins, visiting from...uh...
Chum Clone: Uh -- West Apetown.
Cloneboy: Yep! What Chum Clone -- uh, Chum Chum said.
Lenny: You mean to tell me these are all your cousins?!
[A Fanboy and Chum Chum walk by and sip from a cup]
Cloneboy: Yep.
Lenny: And they're all coming here?!
[Another Fanboy and Chum Chum walk by and sip from a cup]
Chum Clone: You got it!
[Lenny groans and loses his head]

[Back outside...]
Cloneboy and Chum Clone: Thanks, Lenny!
Cloneboy: Hey there, Fanboy! Love the cape! See you later!
Fanboy clone: Not if I see you first!
Chum Clone: Hey, Chum Chum, have you lost weight?
Chum Chum clone: Nope, same as you!
Chum Clone: Oh, thought so.

[Fanboy and Chum Chum are riding the bus home]
Fanboy: Honestly, Chum, I don't know why you bought that thing. I mean, where are you gonna put it?
Chum Chum: Hmm...
[Fanboy looks out the window and gasps. So does Chum Chum]
Fanboy/Chum Chum: Clones!
[The clones get startled]
Chum Chum: Stop the bus!
[The bus stops for F&C to get off]
Clones: Everybody, run!/Hide! Hide!/It's the real Fanboy and Chum Chum!/Run!

[F&C stomp up to Cloneboy and Chum Clone alone across the street]
Cloneboy/Chum Clone: [nervous laughter]
Fanboy: Hey, aren't you clones supposed to be in detention?
Cloneboy: [lying] We got time off for...behavior.
Chum Chum: Hmm... [looks to the right, then to the left, seeing nothing] Say, you didn't happen to see any others of us around, did you?
Chum Clone: Other "usses"?
Cloneboy: [gulps] No. Why would there be other usses?
Fanboy: Okay...
Chum Chum: Hmm...
Cloneboy/Chum Clone: Ah...?
[Briefly pan back to show the other clones lined up behind Cloneboy and Chum Clone]
Chum Chum: [flatly] Well, all right then. I guess you are telling the truth.
Cloneboy: Yep! Eh-heh. No lies here!
Fanboy: All right, Chum. What say we go get a -- BANG!
[A clone bounces]
Fanboy clone: Ow! He got me!
Clones: Uh-uh!/Come on!/Number six!
Fanboy: I knew it! You made clones of yourselves!
Chum Clone: So, what's the big deal? We just did what you did, which shouldn't surprise you, because we're you!
Chum Chum: But, I told you: When you make a clone of a clone, [menacingly] IT'S HIGHLY UNSTABLE.
Cloneboy: Ohhhhh, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right. Did not remember that. Heh heh! [brings a Fanboy clone forward] Anyway, they look perfectly fine to me!
[The clone's head falls off and turns green, all but Cloneboy gasp]
Cloneboy: Oh, I guess I see what you mean.
Fanboy clone: RAAAAAAWWW!
[All scream]
Fanboy clone's body: ROOOAAAAAR!
[All scream]
[One by one, the clones turn into zombies]
Fanboy/Chum Chum/Cloneboy/Chum Clone: ZOMBIE CLONES! AAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!
Fanboy: Quick, everyone! To the Frosty Mart!
[They hide in the Frosty Mart while the zombie clones proceed to attack everything in town]

[In the Frosty Mart, the four are nailing boards to the windows and door]
Fanboy: [panting] There, that should do it!
[The zombie clones stick their hands through the windows, F&C scream, all wimper as they retreat backwards]
Chum Chum: Those boards won't hold them off forever! Eventually, they'll get in here, then what'll we do?
Cloneboy: We've gotta destroy them!
Chum Clone: How are we supposed to destroy dozens of clones?
[Boog scratches the glass of a freezer door really loudly]
Boog: I'll catch your little birdies for ya, but it ain't gonna be easy.
[Horror sting]

[In the storage room...]
Boog: I found one of these roaming around aimlessly near the Frosty Freezy Freeze machine. [reveals a Fanboy clone in a cage]
Fanboy/Chum Chum/Cloneboy/Chum Clone: AHHHHHH!
Boog: [laughs] You got scared! Anyway, I figured out the way to defeat this dweeb. [opens cage]
Chum Chum: AHH!
Fanboy: What are you doing?
[The clone charges for them]
Chum Chum: Ahh! Get away from me!
Boog: Bop!
[Boog bops the clone, turning him to goo]
Chum Chum: How'd you figure that out?
Boog: It's the first thing I did: I bop first, ask questions later.
Fanboy: But Boog, you're only one man! You can't possibly bop all those clones!
Boog: Fortunately, I spent years preparing for the Zombie Bop-pocalypse. [presses remote revealing fake arms that look like his]
Fanboy/Chum Chum/Cloneboy/Chum Clone: Ohhhhhh! That's nice!
[they put on the fake arms]
Boog: Time to bop til they drop! [puts on shades] Chick-ah!
[Back outside...]
Fanboy clone: RAAAAAAWWWWARRRR.
[Boog, Fanboy, Chum Chum, Cloneboy and Chum Clone bop their way out]
Boog: Bop-pocalypse!

(Song: Boppin' Zombies)

Boppin' Zombies, Boppin' Zombies (Bop!)
Everybody, come and do (Bop!)
The Boppin' Zombies (Bop!)
Boppin' Zombies Boppin' Zombies (Bop!)
Everybody, come and do (Gah!)
The Boppin' Zombies

Bop 'em upside their domes (Guess who?)
Bop 'em till they explode (Bop! Bop!)
[SPLAT!]

Boppin' Zombies, Boppin' Zombies (Boppity, bop, bop! Bop!)
Everybody, come and do (Bop!)
The Boppin' Zombies!

Boog: Boop!
Chum Chum: Bop!
Fanboy: Bop!
Chum Clone: Bop!
Cloneboy: Bop!
Boog: Boop!
Chum Chum: Bop!
Boog: Boop!
Fanboy: Bop!
Boog: Boop!
Cloneboy: Bop!
Chum Clone: Bop!
Boog: Boop!
Fanboy: Bop!
Chum Chum: Bop!
All: Bop-tacular, baby!

Fanboy: Yes! We did it! All thanks to you, Boog!
Chum Chum: How can we ever repay you?
Boog: Well, you can start by cleaning all that goo off Sandy! [points in the direction of his car]
Chum Clone: Ew, you guys are on your own.
[Cloneboy and Chum Clone bop themselves and turn into goo. Boog growls]

[Later while F&C are washing the car]
Fanboy: You know, this isn't so bad. We're almost done!
[Pull out to show newly made clones helping out. A Fanboy clone slips and hits the hood, turning into goo]
Chum Chum: Oh, come on!

[Iris out, the episode is over.]

Previous:
"Super Chums"
Transcripts Next:
"Secret Club"

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